Darken
by Toxophobia
Summary: Rey is struggling with the darker part of her soul, the struggle of her past and being forgotten by her friends, final push to the dark side? The dark side comes with arms wide open, offering her a place to belong, a body among thousands. Does she finally find her place in this galaxy or to be all alone. changing to M. Heavy abuse from both sides read at own risk/but not constant
1. Chapter 1

(author note: New stand alone story seperate from the major one i'm running. Fresh start to this one. Hope you guys like it.

Also what are yal's fav reylo themed songs? if you have any suggestions i would love to have them. i haved my own little playlist that i listen too that makes me think of them. )

Chapter one.

Rey went climbing up the sheer cliff face, turning her face into the wind. Her cloak flapping around her ankles as she climbed higher onto this mountain peak, that was on an island, on a planet a good many systems from where Luke was hiding. Her face stung with from the wind and as she watched the suns begin setting. The sky was a soft purple color all during the day and during the sunset it turned a bright pink, the clouds turning almost green. How the atmosphere could have such interesting look and be breathable to her was a honest surprise. The sky on jakku was almost a light blue in colors, or when it had sandstorms it turned a brown black. This planet also seemed to be uninhabited aside from small creatures that ran around. Rey started climbing again, hoping to make it to the top before too much longer; before night fell, Luke had humored her for a little bit.

Giving her minor training over a few weeks, but after a point he told her he no longer belonged in the battle over light and dark. That the jedi order had always preached about balance yet had done whatever it could to snuff out the darkness that made balance. All the centuries of the jedi being in control, of the light over powering the darkness is what had lead to the balance to giving the darkside so much power in the last generations. While the light could live in harmony with the dark, the dark had a tendency to want to spread until everything was corrupted and there was no safety for the light.

Rey fingers stung from small cuts she had been receiving from the rock face, a few goat like creatures with horns that curled all the way around their faces making a halo, stared at her as she climbed. The sun was setting much faster than she planned on it setting. She wouldn't be able to rest on the edge of the world. Rey looked down and gripped closer to the wall, her heart thumping in her chest, so hard she could feel it in her raw fingers. She pushed on, climbing higher and higher until the air started to feel thin, her legs started to feel like wet grass. Bending from the weight. The stars had started to shine, high above her, when she glanced over her shoulder the stars were reflected in the ocean, the sky melted into the ocean on the horizon and she felt like she was standing on the edge of a mirror.

She almost reached out, in hopes of touching the beauty that this world had; but she was suddenly brought back to her senses as the wind gave a big gust. She could feel herself sliding, she gripped on tighter until she was sure that blast of wind was over. She felt a pull to the top of this mountain. Like the one she had felt on Luke's island to the tree where the jedi order books were held. He had seen inside her, he had seen how she thought of herself as nothing, and taught her what he could. Sending her on her way to find her connection to the force. To her destiny whatever that might be. Luke's voice echoing in her mind, 'Rey, the dark is powerful, but so is the light, we need to find balance again. Do whatever you can to find it.'

Grunting as she pulled herself on top of the cliff face, she laid on her back, trying to catch her breath. Her chest heaving from the effort. Rey had once thought that climbing all the inner guts of old empire ships was hard, but this, this was harder. Her fingers hurt like they never have before; holding them close to her face and squinting at them in the dark made it hard to tell if they were bleeding or not. She'd wait to see how bad they looked once she got to collecting enough brush and wood to make a small fire. Rey rolled onto her stomach before pushing herself up, she stood at the edge of the cliffs looking down to where chewy had parked the falcon. Rey couldn't see Chewy, but she was sure he sat with a fire of his own underneath the falcon, while r2d2 beeped about whatever was on his mind. The falcon was so small from up here, the fire a small speck of light in the darkness.

She turned away from the new friends she had made in the last weeks. Looking for dried brush and twigs to make her own fire, scrapping the flint on her small pile of firewood the spark took hungirly. Heating her face and catching light of the ground around her for just a moment. It reflected like diamonds, glittering black and white stones shone all around her; she stood quickly. Almost falling backwards, and after that second passed, the ground just looked like regular rocks again. Rey sat down heavily on the ground, she held her head in her hands as she took a steadying breath. During that moment the ground shined her chest tightened, her greed flared and her greatest moment of weakness was the second she could never be hungry again, she would never have to go hungry again.

At the thought her stomach growled, she reached into her small bag she carried and pulled out what looked like dry crackers. The had taken what Chewy had on the falcon, frowning she took a bite, the dry food crunched in her mouth, all she tasted was salt and the distant memory of sand. She choked down a few more bites of the cracker before she put the leftovers back in the packaging and putting it back in her bag. Laying down to sleep under the ocean of stars she pulled her cloak up tightly around her face. Searching for her personal answers left her feeling lonely. Was the way of the jedi one of loneliness? If it was she wasn't sure she wanted it; but she came here for answers and she was going to get some. Following the pull she had felt once she left Luke's island of misery, she had followed the pull here. Going into light speed and coming out of it every few planets, to make sure she was still following the pull.

The small fire burned out after she had fallen asleep, the cold waking her every few hours until it was dawn and she had gotten all the sleep she could. The hours of night were short on jakku while on this planet they seemed to be twice as long as she was use to. Time didn't matter much when you could jump between a dozen different planets in a day. Rey fed small pieces of wood back into the smoldering pile of her fire from the night before, hoping the ashes would be enough to catch the new wood being introduced. She sat and mediated next to the heat of the fire. The heat warming her lower legs that ached with cold and hunger. The crackers she was choking down dry did little to make her feel full. The falcon starting up caught her attention, she stood as it raised until it hovered near the cliff face she stood at. Chewy dropped the loading door and stood there growling loudly towards her.

He had gotten a message he needed to check on something, unrelated to the rebellion, to her, but he'd be gone a couple of days, maybe a week. It was something that Han had been apart of that suddenly needed to be dealt with.

"Go on, i'll be here." Rey yelled back to him, he growled out a goodbye and went back into the cockpit. The falcon started to leave the planet, it was barely out of when it went into lightspeed. If she had felt alone last night, she was definitely alone now. On a planet that seemed to have no one here, on an island that drew her to with a cold tug. She went back to meditating where she for several more hours. Until her back hurt and her stomach grumbled. She had moved her small camp farther from the edge of the cliff, until she was half sheltered by a rocky outcrop of more cliff. Before he had left chewy had tossed her another, bigger bad of rations with water in it. The closest water to where she was was far below and she didn't feel like making the trek back up and down just for water. She ate slightly less crumbly bread from the pack chewy had given her. Drinking down some of the water, the coldness settling in her stomach.

Rey honestly wasn't sure how many days had passed since Chewy left, she spent so much of her time sitting there trying to connect with the force that one point she opened her eyes to see a sunrise, when she had closed them it was a midafternoon. Her stomach always seemed to be growling the longer she stayed on this mountain top. No matter how much of these gross dry rations she forced herself to eat. She almost missed her set up she had in Jakku, a small fire pot stove to cook what other bad rations she had. She was forcing herself to eat some more dry rations when she felt something shift in the air around her. The cold air suddenly heated, the wind shifted. Going from blowing down, pushing her towards the cliff and out, it flipped, suddenly flowing up from the edge of the mountain, blowing her loose hair of her face. She had taken it down after the second day, the wind was blowing her buns out the whole time.

Rey jumped up and to the edge of the cliff, hoping Chewy had returned and she hadn't seen him, that the wind was from the falcon to come take her back to a place where people lived. Of all her years on Jakku even this place seemed too empty for her to want to stay. She stood at the edge looking down but finding no ship, no chewy, below her. A sound of crunching boots behind her turned her attention away from the edge of the cliff. She turned around and made eye contact with Kylo Ren. who stood maskless in front of her on the far side of the flat area of land. He seemed honestly surprised to see her, Rey jumped into attack mode. Force pulling her lightsaber from next to her fire to her hand. Kylo Ren wore what seemed to be his normal clothes, the layered gambeson, no cloak, no pack, and most importantly no lightsaber.

Almost hissing with rage, Rey jumped into an attack, clearing the campsite she'd made in a few long steps. Her lightsaber flaring to life and swinging at Kylo Ren's head. His injury that cut across his face was a darkened color that must of stung in the fierceness of the wind swirling around them. He dodged her first swing, leaning backwards, keeping his feet heavily planted in the dirt. On her back swing, he ducked underneath that one as well, the lightsaber catching some of his long curly hair, it sizzling and smelling of burnt hair. He darted around her side, sliding in the dirt, his face focused to keep avoiding her poor swings. The last few days of sitting stiffly meditating and the poor eating was wearing heavy on Rey.

"Murderer." she snarled, Kylo's face looked taken aback for just a second until she took another swing at him with the lightsaber. Going for his feet this time, he jumped over the lightsaber. The plasma blade cutting a cut into the dirt and rock where his feet had just been. She could see the moment he decided to stop being on the defensive and quickly rushed her, his hands grabbing her by the shoulders and slamming her back into the dirt so heavily it made her head spin. The lightsaber shot out of her hand on contact, disengaged and spun away from the two. Kylo Ren's much larger form towering over her as he stared into her face.

He noted the large dark circles under her eyes, she tried to force pull the lightsaber back to her hands; but his shot out pushing it away from them instead of pulling it to him. Her pulls were stronger than his, but his pushes tended to have all his weight behind him. It shot right off the edge of the cliff and went tumbling down the mountain.

"You're a monster." Rey said through gritted teeth, her rage tingling in the tips of her fingers. He simply tilted his head at her, looking into her eyes. The smallest ghost of a smile touching his lips.

"I am." his voice had a hint of softness to it she hadn't expected, he pulled his eyes away from hers as he sat back on his knees, letting go from shoving her shoulders into the dirt. He glanced back at her for a moment before that dark expression fell on his face again. She wasn't sure what emotion he had just shown, but she knew he hadn't meant to show it to her.

"What are you doing here? On my island savenager?" he gestured to the mountaintop they stood on, or the mountaintop that Rey was struggling to stand on top of. He stood up, brushing the dirt off the knees of his black pants. He didn't seem to have any struggle with fighting with Rey, or more her just swinging and him dodging with no issue. She sat up, the effort to do that was more than she expected. Living off sucky crackers the last week hasn't done her any help.

"Your island? I don't see your name anywhere on it. What is it with skywalkers and island's of solitudes?" Rey said, her voice stronger than she felt, he turned, staring at her with a sour look on his face, his hair hanging down into his face just enough to give the look he'll pound her back into the ground again. Then realization crossed his face, tilting his head up, looking up towards the sky.

"You felt the pull didn't you?" Kylo Ren walked back over to where Rey still sat in the dirt, he offered a leather gloved hand to help pull her up, his ability to go from kicking her ass to being nice was like a light switch. She refused his hand, his fingers curled into his palm in what seemed like rage. Which it could of been at that second, before he grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her like she weighed nothing. Setting her gently on her feet.

"Are you done trying to attack me? I have no weapon. It wouldn't be fair." he said, rubbing his gloved hands together, getting the dust off of them from pulling Rey out of the dirt.

"Not that it seemed to matter." Rey said under her breath, glaring away from him and off into the horizon. They were standing too close together, she knew he heard what she said. She could almost hear the smirk on his face.

"Well when i don't take a blaster shot to the side, i have many years of formal training over you. Of course i'd win." he said so matter of factly, she growled and turned back to him quickly. Her anger pushing her to get into his face. She stood much shorter than him, she looked up into his face with defiance.

"And i've been eating like a monk for a week trying to meditate on this place. To find out why it brought me here." she practically spit into his face. He had a smug look on his face, pulling out her anger was certainly easy for him to do, it brought him a great deal of joy to break her resolve. He could tell that whatever training she had, Luke hadn't warned her about emotions being the gateway to the dark side. Or he had and she had chosen to ignore him.

Rey frowned at his noticeable smile.

"It's the darkside pulling you here scavenger." Kylo Ren said, loosely gesturing to the area around them. "It's not the lightside calling your soul." Rey's face was nothing but surprise. The rage utterly leaving her. She turned from him, and he let her go. She walked to the edge of the cliff and sank to her knees. She sat in surprise as she connected to the force. Meditating on this statement. Searching out with her feelings. The pull she felt, the tug on her being, went to the mountaintop behind her, and to the man who stood behind her. His fists clenched at his sides, his dark curly hair blowing away from his face. The pull then turned, going deep beneath the island. To where the dark center sat. The darkness coiled like a snake ready to strike her hand. But when she reached out and touched it, it purred into her hand. She snatched her hand away, in fear, in disgust.

Breaking the connection to the force she took a large gasping breath. She looked over her shoulder, where he stood as he had in her mind. Fists clenched. A small ghost of a smile on his face. Turning around to face him, Rey stared at him. From across the clearing, her back against the edge, her heart beating in her chest so hard she could hear it echoing around her. Kylo Ren held his hands up in surrender, backing away from her and going towards the trail he came up.

"I'll leave you to mull over this revelation."

And then he was gone over the far end of the clearing. Leaving Rey alone with her thoughts. Alone with the darkness that she felt swirling around her. It felt hot, in the coldness of the air around her the darkness felt like a flame softly touching her cheek. The warmness of it surprising her. Maybe it was only warm to those whom it called to. Maybe it was lighting a fire she already had.

Rey folded in on herself, curling up into as tight of a ball as she could manage, as she watched his personal ship fly away. Leaving her alone on this island. Wondering when someone would be coming to get her.

()

Rey was starting to worry about chewy, after Kylo Ren had left her on this island, chewy had been gone at that point for 6 days. Not yet a week but as the days melded past it has increased her worry. Around the 14 day mark she had ran out of her dry crackers. So she resorted to hunting the goat like creatures that live on the rock face.

Her growling stomach making her a not very good hunter. At first they hadn't cared about her going past them, until the day she finally found her lightsaber. She clicked it on and cut through one of the creatures like butter, and after that moment they had become harder to catch. Faster on the cliff face than she was. That first day she had eaten well, for the first time in over a week she had real meat.

It popped and dripped juice into the fire from washed up wood she had collected along the shore. Giving up her meditating at the top of the mountain and instead living along the coast of the island. Where grass grew, small trees and brush. The wood she had collected were from much larger trees farther away than she could see. What other land did this planet have, and why was she drawn to this dark place? Rey went searching one night for that darkness she felt below the island, the only thing she found was a empty cave, with odd symbols written on the walls. She had dragged her hands across the cut out symbols, the stone cold beneath her fingers. Touching the rock had made a chill run up the back of her neck, sure that someone was watching she turned around quickly. But the only person in the cave was herself; and she had felt even more alone. She kneeled in that cave, holding her hands to the ground, hoping to feel deeper within with the force, deeper than her eyes could show her. All she had seen was coldness that left her teeth chattering. The sound echoing in the cave, it didn't feel like the darkness she had felt at the top of the mountain, that darkness that burned when she brushed her hand across it. This darkness stole her heat, hording it inside of itself until her fingers felt like ice. Until she dragged herself out of its presence, until she had started a new fire did she begin to get feeling back to her limbs.

She felt outwards with the force after she had finished eating her goat? She had been looking for chewy, but instead she felt Kylo Ren's ship orbiting the planet, waiting for her to call, or waiting for her to leave. It was still just him, he was alone up there. He must of been looking for her to finally get lonely enough to come knocking on the force around him. Because he broke his mediation, and brought the ship down near her on the beach. The spot chewy had parked the last time he was here. Rey ignored his approach from behind, she picked at her teeth with a small piece of bone as he walked around her, he had no fear in his face. He had no concern, despite seeing her lightsaber back in her possession, he still brought no weapon of his own. He either trusted her or wasn't smart enough to bring one; or both. She thought with a smug grin on her face. He didn't acknowledge the look on her face.

"What's new with you? Murder any villages?" She asked, he just continued staring at her, as his eyes narrowed at her question, he tilted his head for a moment before he quicker than a snake grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her from the ground before slamming her against it, just like he had the week before at the top of the mountain. The force of it knocked the air out of her lungs, she struggled to catch her breath as he leaned his face close to hers.

"You think your hands are blood free?" he hissed close to her ear. He was close enough she could feel his heated breath on her face, she weakly kicked with her legs as he pushed his knee into her stomach. The weight forcing her full stomach to do flips from the pressure. Her dinner becoming dangerously close to coming up to see the world again. She made a face as his words sank in.

"I've only done what i had to do." she croaked out, her chest hurting as he shifted his weight from her stomach to higher up on her rips. Her left hand reaching up to scratch at his face weakly, he grabbed her hand and slammed her wrist into the dirt with no problems from her fighting him. He stared hard into her eyes, his dark brown eyes catching the light from the fire almost beautifully. She took a deep breath, as much of one she could take with half of his weight on her diaphragm.

"Your hands are soaked in the blood of thousands of stormtroopers. You love your Finn but you murdered hundreds of the likes of him with no glance back. Their blood is covering her soul, soaking through and leaving a puddle of blood behind every step you make." his voice was pained, his breathing kicking up a notch as he gripped her shoulders harder.

"They were taken away from families they never knew, i gave them mercy." she said, raising her head to get into his space, it was the most she could do from her spot in the dirt. His towering form leaning over her.

"Taken? We didn't steal them." Kylo Ren said, a small laugh coming out softly as he said it, leaning back and letting go of her shoulder as he did. The grip on her wrist remained, getting tighter as he squeezed her small wrist between his large hand.\

"They were given to us. They were no ones in every reach of the galaxy. Their families didn't want them. Couldn't feed them, clothe them, or be bothered to love them. Most of them were digging through garbage when the first order found them and gave them a purpose. A belonging." his voice harsh, the words digging into her soul, as she pictured every one of those children living as orphans, or being handed over willingly from their parents. Who already had kids to care about, or gave them all up. Children the galaxy had failed. Children who were sold into one kind of slavery instead of another kind.

"I don't believe you." Rey's soft voice barely heard over the sound of waves behind them, he leaned back over her, his one hand pressing into the dirt right next to her face. He leaned in close. She could feel his breath on her face, he wasn't even inches away from her, she glanced around his face, fluttering for a moment on his mouth before she brought her eyes back up to his eyes, he had a smile in those dark eyes. His mouth was corked a little to the side, a smirk spreading across his face, he leaned in closer to her ear, breathing heavily against her ear and her neck. Rey began to squirm from it, the feeling odd and news on her skin.

"Just because you don't believe me doesn't make it any less true." his voice so soft, the whisper made her shiver under his weight, under his grip and under the heat coming off of him. He leaned back to look into her face, seeing something on her face made him grin, he let her go, stood up and brushed the dirt off of his pants and gloves. He walked back into his ship and closed the loading door, leaving Rey suddenly colder and in the dark with this other new revelation he left her with. Her chest tight from thinking about those kids, all the ones rejected or abandoned, left to suffer and starve; being sold off or just simply collected by the first order.

Her mind drifted to the thought of Kylo Ren kneeling down before a small scared child, his mask on the ground, offering the child a hand and some food. A promise of a fed better life. If they had found Rey as a child left to rot in the sands of Jakku, would she have easily followed along? Would she have just taken the hand of someone offering food and a bed to sleep in every night? Rey wasn't sure, she had struggled to get in the hang of being a scavenger, it had been hard and growing up she often went hungry. Several days she went without food or water, it got so rough she almost didn't make it to go finally get something to live. When she was young and small, she had managed to crawl and squeeze into the gravity core generators on the hollowed out crashed star destroyer that pointed as a giant arrow towards the trading post.

That day she had eaten very well, and after that she had done better at finding things to scrap, but it normally resulted in cut up forearms and tight quarters that she was worried she'd never be able to squeeze out of. That one day the ship would shift and she would get crushed inside all the metal, left to rot, a small forgotten skeleton on a planet that never cared about her life. Her chest clenched again at the thought, her stomach churning, she would of taken that hand if it had been offered.

And Rey drifted off into sleep, nightmares of hundreds of Finn's dying by her hands, she knew they weren't clones, but without knowing their faces, her mind put Finn into every face. Every trooper. They didn't have the choice to fight, her heart ached for them.

(please review, thanks guys c:)


	2. Chapter 2

Rey awoke to the hair on the back of her neck standing on end while she sat in front of the dead fire. She started to try and revive it. A headache pushing into her head, she turned and saw him, sitting across from where she slept like they were old friends. She hated him, she hated the way he sat and looked at her with a calm expression, she hated that he was here when others weren't. She hated all of it. She could feel her anger in her chest as she slowly stood from where she had curled up under her cloak. Her body stiff and cold.

"What do you want?" she barked at him, he had an easy smile on his face, one that made her want to shove a hand full of dirt into his face, mess up his perfect curls. He looked so casual.

"They're not coming back for you. Do you want me to take you somewhere?" Kylo Ren asked her, he looked down at his gloved hands, inspecting the leather gloves for cuts or tears, but they looked so neat and put together. Like everything about the man in front of her looked, his clothes didn't even look dirty even while lounging in the dirt. She bristled while she watched him, she picked up an ashy half burnt stick and threw it at his stupidly smug face. He just deflected it using the force, not even enough effort to put his hand up. He glanced up from his gloves, the smirk on his face getting bigger.

"I can just leave you here. It would prevent you from messing up any future plans for the First Order, but then i'd have to deal with you every time i wanted to come here and that would just not be worth it. Plus i'd rather not have to deal with your dead body at one point. If i kill you anywhere else i could leave you there. Here i have to move the body. And again. Too much effort on my part." he just kept talking, and Rey watched on with surprise while also being insanely uncomfortable. She shifted in her spot and he stopped rambling to himself. He was doing it on purpose to mess with her, she could see it in his face.

A large not pretty frown spread across Rey's face, she grumbled and laid back down, rolling to where her back was facing him. A low chuckle came from where he sat, she was just amusement for him.

"Fine. You…. can take me to Maz's. You remember where that is don't ya?" Rey said, looking over her shoulder at him to see him straighten up just a little, just enough to show Rey that Maz made him uncomfortable. Maybe he knew her from when he was growing up, or maybe he had just heard stories about the old woman. That fiesty old alien made for an unpredictable visit.

"Okay then. We'll go tomorrow. You look like shit and you'll wanna get enough sleep so she won't club you for not taking care of yourself. Or me for letting you look like that." Kylo Ren said giving Rey a good once over before spreading out on his side of the fire. \

"What do you mean, 'like that' i've been out here for over two weeks dealing with mean goat things and shitty wind." Rey chirped out in mock rage. She knew she looked bad, the water had been too cold for her to actually bathe, so she had been doing some washcloth bathing to not smell awful. She was covered in dirt, she only had a single change of clothes. When she took a nasty fall down a short part of the mountain face she had torn her other set up to the point of repair. He ignored her comment with a flick of his wrist. Could she get under his skin for the fun of it like he could for her? She was glad to finally be leaving this rockpile but her thoughts turned back to Chewy and his fate. He wouldn't have left her here forever on purpose. But her heart ached at the thought of being left like she had been as a child. Rey drifted off to sleep again as she heard kylo Ren poking at the fire, adding more twigs to it until her back was toasty and for once since she got here she was comfortable.

The next day was uneventful, kylo Ren had stomped around the campsite trying to erase that Rey had been there for awhile, smoothing out her tracks and covering the fire. She watched mildly interested from her perch on the loading ramp to the ship as Kylo moved a larger rock to the middle of the clearing. Stomping past her and having to duck as he entered the ship, she followed after him, sticking close so he wouldn't leave her behind. Although it was an odd experience since she had spent the last months trying to _get_ away from this man. He gave her a quick look up and down before pulling a stack of black first order crew clothes from one of the drawers. He tossed them at her and pointed to a door near the back to the right. Dismissing her without even looking at her, Rey ignored the spark of rage that flared up in her chest. Choosing to go and change instead.

The clothes were just a touch too big, the right height but built for a thicker body. Rey lightly fingered the bottom of the shirt, it was surprisingly soft. And in the light of the bathroom accented the dirt covering her hands and face. She washed off best she could before going to the main area. Rey waltzed right over and plopped down in the co pilot spot. Kylo Ren gave her a side glance, expecting him to bark an order for her to get away from his controls but he just smirked and looked forward again.

"First order uniform looks good on you. Fitting if you ask me." Rey eyed him, a frown on her face. The first order logo sat on her breast pocket, the stark white offsetting the black.

"I'd rather have my regular clothes back. Or even the rebel clothes I was given. These feel too impersonal and stiff." Rey's honesty surprising herself. She looked back to the main controls. Flipping the necessary switch and toggle as they prepared to take off.

"Although I wish it came with a jacket." Her voice soft, almost more of a comment to herself than to him. He messed with some of the instruments, switching flight command to Rey as he got up and out of his seat with no word on what he was doing. Not that Rey cared, or that's what she was mentally telling herself as she steered as it took off, angling and making good speed into space.

Rey let out a very startled squeak when a jacket was heavily dropped onto her shoulders. She shot her head up so quickly her neck cracked. Her reaction to the jacket made kylo Ren smile at her. A smile that made a chill go up her spine. It wasn't a kind smile, but one of snark. Kylo Ren sat back down into his chair, directing them towards Maz's system. Rey pushed her hands through the sleeves, pulling the jacket up high around her neck.

As the ship shot into hyperdrive, kylo Ren sat back in the chair, putting his hands behind his head. Rey curled up into the seat of her chair, instead of stretching out like Kylo over there. He closed his eyes and she studied his face. The cut she had made with the lightsaber was healing well. He looked peaceful, she could see his father in his face. The shape of his lips, the angle of his brow; the shape of his eyes. He had his mother's cheekbones, when his eyes were open they had her fire.

"You still need a teacher." His voice cutting through her thoughts, she was staring at him and his dark brown eyes startling her.

"I can feel it. Luke didn't train you. Your wild and uncontrollable. You'll hurt someone without meaning to." Rey huffed, turned away from him, her chair swiveling away from him. A low dark chuckle came out of him, before he grabbed her chair and turned it back to face him. He gripped it tightly.

"You'll hurt people _you_ care about. People like Maz and Finn and Chewy."

She couldn't break eye contact, she bit her lip pulling his eyes away from hers and down to her mouth.

"I can show you. You don't have to be afraid." Her mouth felt dry, she took a deep breath, a shaking breath. She closed her eyes and she could still feel his on her. When she opened her eyes, his were staring deep into hers.

"Luke was too scared to train you, he felt the powers you have. They remind him of mine." he wasn't wrong, she thought back to the fear in his eyes when he saw how well and quickly the darkside pulled her to the dark pit under his island.

"Okay." She breathed out. Her chest feeling lighter than it had in days, the tightness that had been coiling in her chest pulling her tight around the edges of her person. For the first time she saw him truly smile. It spread across his face, it warmed his eyes. She felt herself smiling back. He looked like a boy just now.

"We'll still go see Maz, just to see what happened to chewy, right?" Rey asked, looking up hopefully, Kylo's smile dropped but he nodded anyway. The ship was already going there, he had typed in the coordinates to her planet from the beginning. There was a weird feeling about relaxing with a man who had been her enemy for so long; but it hasn't really been that long has it? Maybe a couple of whirlwind months.

The silence stretched between them for the hour it took to get to maz's planet, great time for a ship, the first orders tended to move pretty quickly. The building was being rebuilt from the destruction the first order had caused the last time they had shown up. Most of the black market merchants had fled and haven't came back just yet. Although the rebel presence is just a whisper now, Rey stepped foot out of Kylo Ren's personal ship into the dirt of the balster shot ground. The castle that had stood for over a thousand years was a pile of rubble; Rey took it all in, turning in her spot, looking at the destruction. She hadn't gotten to see it when she was taken. Kylo Ren having force knocked her out she had missed all the damage. It's probably better she hadn't seen it. She would of put up much more of a fight.

But it was still the trees that caught her attention, the green glowing in a beauty she still wasn't use to. The bright emerald catching her breath in her throat. Kylo watched her reaction in silence, her childlike glee giving him pause for thought. How do you turn someone who glows to the darkside? Slowly. The thought drifted across his mind, a whisper belonging to someone else's mind, someone else's voice. He shook his head, bringing himself out of his thoughts; pulling Rey back down to the ground they stood on. He marched on to where maz had set up a large tent system behind the rubble of the castle. The largest one was set up in the middle, with small tents leading up to and connected to it. To get in they had to go through the smaller tents. The set they entered through had tables selling things from every corner of the galaxy. With the black market side of her contacts the legal side was trying to sell as much and quickly before they came back. But seeing kylo ren stomping through with a young girl in first order clothes, they quickly looked away ignoring them. They closed down their shops and turned their backs to them; for the first time Rey witnessed how much they shunned Kylo Ren, without even knowing it was him. No one would really know what his face would look like.

Kylo Ren didn't have much shyness to his tall form, he shoved the tent door flap to the side and caused the temporally set up tavern into quiet. They were waiting Maz's response to the interruption; which from the far side of the room they saw the short woman stand on a tall chair and zero in on them. Her eyes widening in shock at seeing the two of them together, or just seeing Kylo Ren for the first time since he was a child, or him without his helmet. In that split second Rey's sure her mind was spinning with information; cycling through all the news she's heard in the last two weeks.

Then came barreling at them, the other patrons still sitting in silence, watching to see her attack two first order goons, or to welcome them into her cove. Rey backed up behind Kylo Ren, afraid for the confrontation she was sure she was going to be getting from Maz, a woman whose opinion she had grown to want. She was sure she was in for an earful about joining the dark side; but instead kylo ren knelt down and held his arms open. Maz ran in for a hug, her eyes full of tears. Rey tried not to let her shock and self centered mindset, Maz wasn't coming over for her, why would she, Kylo Ren was probably a staple in her life for years when he was younger.

She was running her hands through his hair, touching his face. She had a smile on her face that made Rey's heartache. The tears started running down her face and the band started playing again. Kylo Ren started wiping the tears from her face.

"Ben Solo…. Ben….." her voice was breathy, half choking on tears, Rey looked away, suddenly feeling like she was interrupting a personal moment for the two. Then she heard the distinct noise of a hand slapping across his face. Rey turned her head back around to see Kylo's face turned to the side, a large red hand print plastered across his cheek. He didn't look angry, he looked reserved. Ready for what was to come. Maz's joy was replaced with rage, news of Han's death at the hands of his son must have reached her ears. She had a large frown spread across her face.

"How dare you?" she asked, rage and sadness in her voice. "How could you hate Han?" Rey had wondered the same question, Kylo looked around them, at all the people trying not to be caught staring, they knew for sure who he was now.

"I'll explain but not in here." Maz didn't even wait for him to get off of the ground before she went stalking out of the main tent farther into the tent city, with Rey and Kylo in tow behind her. With rage on her face people turned out of her way, she went to a tent that was separate from everything else. She sat down in a chair, gestured for the them to sit. Rey sat in a chair that was close to the floor, looking around Maz's personal rooms, they were in a sitting room that had large colorful drapes, old looking flower paintings hanging around random corners. She pinned Kylo with a look that said talk.

"Alright, but just listen; don't get too mad." he said, spreading his hands out in front of him as he awkwardly sat in a chair way too short and small for his tall form. Maz nodded, leaning back against her tall backed chair, showing she was in control in the room.

"I had to. If I didn't give Han the honorable death, Snoke was going to torture him, to teach me a lesson." Maz frowned the answer clearly not good enough in her eyes.

"You joined the dark side, you brought this on yourself." She started, but Kylo Ren shook his head.

"No, before that. When i was a kid, he was whispering in my head. I didn't have a choice after Luke tried to kill me. Join him, or everyone would suffer." there was a hint of fear in his voice, which he shook off pretty quickly. He leaned forward, making the strongest eye contact with Maz Rey has seen, the intensity reminding her of Leia.

"I need Rey; so i can kill Snoke. I need him to think he's won. So he'll let his guard down." Maz looked over at Rey quickly, her face one of shock or concern it was hard to tell exactly. She shook her head.

"Too dangerous." Maz's voice was tough, she stared into his face, but he just shrugged in a way that made an odd expression cross Maz's face. Which was gone before Kylo saw it. Rey sat watching with interest on the sidelines. Maz's harsh gaze focused on Kylo's face, on his first order clothes, his tall lanky form struggling to be comfortable in this chair made for a woman around 4 feet tall.

"Ask what Rey wants to do." he said, not even looking over at her in her chair, almost surprised he even suggested that. She wanted to defeat Snoke, if going undercover was the way to do it, then she would. Maz looked over at her, Rey nodded with enthusiasm, Maz frowned slightly.

"I'll be okay. Ben is there to protect me." Rey looked over at Kylo, he nodded just enough for Maz to sigh heavily.

"Y'all are adults. You can make your own decisions. Now why are _you_ here?" she had an accusatory tone of voice. Rey spoke up this time, both of them turning their attention to her off to the side.

"Ben here found me on an island that chewy was suppose to pick me up on after a week. But he was gone for over two weeks. And still hadn't come back. I was hoping you might have heard something about that." Maz looked at her sadly, knowing something much have happened that Rey wasn't aware of.

"Oh sweetie. He's been MIA for over a week now. He went on a personal mission to finish up some of Han's personal projects. And just disappeared." Rey stared down at her hands, if anyone else had come to get her maybe she could of been on his tail to begin with. But everyone knew where she was going, and no one looked for her even though they knew chewy went missing? She pulled her legs up towards her chest, easy in a chair where her knees were already near her face. They all sat in silence for several minutes, letting her think about her missing friend. Kylo felt a confliction of emotions, he grew up with chewy almost as much as with Maz, but the last time he had seen him, chewy had shot to kill. Rey didn't have the confliction he did, he's sure she was feeling sadness; an emotion he would help her deal with soon enough.

"Can we go look for him?" Rey asked, looking over at where Kylo Ren sat. He shook his head slightly.

"We wouldn't know where to look, and it's been two weeks. Knowing what Han was into, he's probably dead by now. Im sorry Rey." His voice was soft, matter of fact, slightly colder than he meant to come off as, but he plastered on a look of sadness that Rey would see that it was an emotion he wasn't use to dealing with. Rey took the bait, she got out of her chair, with no struggle that he was going to have trying to get out of his chair. She strolled over to him and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. He looked down at their feet, to express more sadness, but when he looked up, Maz had a look on her face that read she saw through his bullshit.

He quirked a quick half smile, shrugging awkwardly; a movement and expression he knew would remind her of Han. A movement he had seen his whole life when Han had messed up or things hadn't gone the way he planned. The movement worked, a dark emotion flashed through her face as she reflected the years she knew Han. Kylo pushed off of his knees the best he could, raising from this sunken chair from hell, his back hurt from being folded in like a cheap folding chair. He towered over Rey, her hand dropping to her side as he stood, Maz hopped up from her seat, walking towards the door with the other two.

"Where are you heading?" She asked them, as they passed through the door, Kylo turned his head, looking down at her, over 2 feet shorter than him.

"Back to the first order. Everything is to be normal. I will begin Rey's training." He said, walking away, Rey hung back waiting for him to see she wanted to talk to Maz for a moment alone. When he was far enough, he looked over his shoulder realising she wasn't behind him. Seeing she was still with Maz he continued ahead towards the rest of the tented sized buildings.

"What is it sweetie?" Maz asked softly, as Rey knelt in front of her, she hugged her tightly, tears pricking her eyes.

"Why did no one but Ben come looking for me?" Using his given name felt weird to her, he always looked at her out of the corner of his eye when she did, but it was for Maz's benefit. To see that she trusted him for some reason. She could feel his presence, even farther away, even without reaching out through the force. Something had sparked with their time on the island; what she wasn't totally sure.

"I'm not sure honey. The Rebels are a mess; but they should of spared someone for you." Maz patted her back, stroked her hair, rey had taken out the two lower buns. To signify a fresh start to this new story her fate had created for her. Much different than the one she had thought she'd have.

"It's because i failed isn't it? I failed to bring Luke back." Rey's voice cracked, she didn't want to start crying, she was worried once she started, she wouldn't be able to stop.

"I… i don't know dear." Maz said, breaking the hug, looking into Rey's face. Rey knew crying made her weak, that jedi didn't cry. But she had failed everyone and she wasn't a Jedi, or a hero, she hadn't brought Luke back to save the day. And everyone hated her for it.

"You have to do what's best for you now. You must survive." Maz let go of Rey's shoulders, her hands dropping to her side. Rey sniffed, willing the tears to stop before they started. She took a deep breath, steeling herself to the reality she was about to go into enemy territory, she could probably die. She couldn't worry about them now. She'd make them proud by taking the first order down from the inside.

"I thought i was done just surviving. I thought life was suppose to be about more than just surviving." Her voice so soft, so sad, Maz patted her hand against her cheek. A strained sad smile graced her face.

"Life was an odd way of creating beauty in the ugliest of places. Like this planet. When i had first set up my outpost several thousands of years ago, this planet was dying. The plant life was almost completely gone. Life had died or left. But i saw the beauty it could have. So i found trees and plants as similar as the ones it had originally. I planted a few. And they sprung. Clearing the air, changing the dirt, life began again. Animals that had gone into hiding were coming out again. It had found its beauty. Sometimes all it needs is a helping hand. Now go. Ben solo might be standing over there, but Kylo Ren still haunts beneath the surface. He'll need your helping hand to bring the beauty out again." Maz patted her cheek a little harder, a sharp smile and a glint in her eyes. Rey couldn't help but smile back, feeling less worried, life could get worse before it got better; but she had to be kicking long enough for it to get better.

Rey hurried off to where she'd seen Kylo disappeared to, not glancing back to where Maz stood watching her go from her doorway. Rey walked into the first tents that connected back to the main large tent. Just inside Kylo stood leaning over some poor merchants table, pretending to be interested with a blank look on his face as he stared boredly at the objects placed on the table. Random things Rey didn't even bother glancing at as Kylo looked up at her, a question in his face but he said nothing as he turned and walked through the tents. Rey struggled to keep up as his long legs took him farther and faster than Rey's.

He didn't give a single glance back through the main tavern area that had set up in the huge tent. Rey gave a glance to the height and size of the thing, it had a huge high ceiling that had a chandelier hanging from the top, with ever burning lights. The walls were decorated in Maz's antique style, statues of goddesses from planets Rey will probably never see. Paintings from artists she'll never recognize. Maz has lived hundreds of lives, and Rey will be gone in the blink of her eyes. Rey turned back to Kylo in front of her, his dark curls disappearing into the doorway they had came through the first time. She stepped up her pace to keep up with him.

"Why are you moving so fast? What's the rush?" Rey said, almost tripping on a kink in the carpet underneath their feet. Kylo didn't even look back at her to answer her, his dark curls reflecting a reddish color in the lights in the tents.

"I have a bad feeling." Was all he responded with, they burst out of the tent city that had been set up behind the crumbled mess of the castle. The sun was setting on this planet, casting a beautiful deep blue across the sky. The stars were starting to shine, Rey stopped for a moment, the sky was full of green splotches of where the galaxy showed, it was a beauty she wasn't use to on Jakku. The planet on the edge of the galaxy, didn't see many stars, aside from the ones closer to it. But this planet. Was near the center, it had millions of stars that Rey could see with just her bare eyes. Kylo stopped walking, noticing she was no longer behind him, he noted to himself that she had a thing for beauty. Easily distracted and weak willed to just see past the things of nature. He walked back over to her and gently took her wrist, pulling her along behind him as he rushed the two of them to the ship. The pricking on the back of his neck getting more intense, that he was ready to get away from as soon as possible.

Rey didn't complain much about him pulling her, she could still feel his heat through his gloves. He just radiated heat, as he shoved her into the ship, she sat in the co-pilot seat as he quickly started flipping switches, pulling levers, trying to get through preflight as quickly as he could. Not wanting to be the reason they wouldn't be leaving a quick as possible she jumped into her flight manoeuvres. Something about the force always allowed for her to pick the right switches or buttons on a ship she's never seen before. She thought about that when she had done this the first time when she had taken over for him. The ship took off, heading towards the atmosphere of the planet. Leaving the planet of green Rey had never seen before. She got closer to the window, just in time to see a blaster beam come straight for the ship. Rey gave a shout that didn't come out as anything coherent but kylo must of understood because he jerked the ship so sharply it almost tossed Rey out of her seat. They missed that beam just as another came at them, another, and then several as Rebel X-wings came into sight. Rebels were shooting at Rey, she felt a pang in her chest. She shook her head, they didn't know it was her, she thought to herself. Kylo had pulled out the controls to start blasting at them back, rage shot through her and she flung her hand forward. The force hitting the controls hard, jerking the ship into a tailspin as Kylo fought to get control again.

" _We won't kill them._ " her voice coming out as a hiss in a way she hadn't meant to. Kylo had gotten the ship back under control, jerking hard on the controls to right it. His eyes wide from the surprise of Rey being willing to kill themselves to save rebels she didn't even know. Rebels who weren't even looking for her.

"They're not going to not fire on us just because we won't fire back. What would you have me do? Die? I don't think so." Kylo raised his voice at her, barking at her from his seat, she shrugged.

"There's a stun mode on there isn't there? Just enough of one to flip out their systems enough to cause an emergency landing."

Kylo frowned heavily as he maneuvered the ship out of another blast coming from an incoming x-wing.

"That could still kill them if they hit the wrong thing." He said, angling the ship down towards the water before quickly pulling up as an x-wing followed behind. The x-wing didn't move up as fast, hitting the water and skipping across it. Rey watched as the pilot climbed out of the cockpit.

"It'll at least give them a chance." Rey said, flipping on switches to turn her controls to firing mode. Setting her cannons to the lowest charge in hopes of not killing the 5 rebels still flying around them. Kylo scoffed at her from his spot, but didn't argue anymore. He got them into the position to start firing on the x-wings. His flying getting the ship behind a couple as Rey fired on one where she hoped it wouldn't just explode. They were all flying low enough on the lake that when it hit, the engines quit and dropped into the water. The other she fired on continued on forward, not falling enough to hit the water, it glided right into a couple of trees. Hard enough Rey flinched at when contact was made.

3 more to go and still dodging their shots. Rey marveled at his flying skills as he tilted the ship just enough to the side the shot behind them went right below the wing. Despite their ship being larger he was able to do dime sharp turns. One of the x-wings didn't follow quick enough again, didn't catch the wind right on the angle of their wings and the wing clipped the edge of a blasted down wall from the last conflict they had fought here. It lost the wing and Rey watched as it flew straight into the rubble of the castle. There was no time for that pilot as it blew up on contact. Rey's mouth felt dry as she swallowed. So far they'd done good not killing all of them, 1 of five wasn't bad odds. She told herself. For high speed flying with weapons hot wasn't bad at all. They'd be okay. She hoped it wasn't Poe in there.

Poe's flying skills were the best of the rebellion, he was probably just force sensitive enough that allowed him to be so good. The last ship had to be Poe's, the flying was unlike anything else she'd seen. He had a loopy flying style that allowed for him to avoid blasters and cannon fire. She fired a few nervous shots at him, which he easily flew around, he wasn't going to go down easily; and she didn't want to kill him. Rey gritted her teeth as they flew circles around each other. Dog fighting in the sky that looked more like a dance, while poe was good, both Rey and Kylo were better. Kylo gave a hard cut to the ship, its wing dipping down into the water, casting up a spray behind them, hitting Poe's x-wing. The the intent of blinding him. Kylo then jerked the controls the other direction, almost sending the ship into another tail spin as it dragged in the water turning the ship around and gunning straight towards Poe.

Rey fired a shot that Poe had to use a half barrel roll to get away from, he flew up over them, Rey and Poe's eyes connected. It was as if time slowed, his eyes widened as time sped back up to real time. He shot past them, fear was coursing through Rey's mind. They wouldn't know her plan to go undercover. He'd tell everyone she was a traitor. Shooting at them, the rebels, her friends. Kylo turned the ship back onto Poe's tail, they were behind him, catching up quickly. He was zig zagging to the sides, sure he was already sending in a message to Leia. Rey could almost feel her heart breaking. Rey closed her eyes and fired, the shot hit Poe's tail, sending him spinning away from them, he skipped across the lake and slammed into the banks of the lake. The engine smoking and catching on fire, but Rey didn't see him climbing out.

"We have to get him out. He's not getting out! He's going to tell the rebellion i betrayed them!" Rey yelled at Kylo, fearing pumping through her blood as she slammed her hand on the dash. Hitting buttons she wasn't sure what they did.

"Rey it's too late. We have to get out of here. There are spied in the rebellion. They'll tell snoke your not for real. We can't chance it." Kylo's voice was level, he was right, he knew he was but Rey wasn't listening. He could see the fear in her eyes, she has betrayed them, she just doesn't know it yet; but he pulled the ship down to the edge of the water for her anyway. He knew she'd be harder to deal with if he didn't. He wished they could just get off this damn planet. She jumped out of the loading dock of the ship before it even fully touched the ground. She darted over to where Poe's ship had crashed. The fire spreading across the engine going towards the fuel tank. Rey ran up to his x-wing, his head hanging heavily to the side, there was blood dripping down the front vision of his helmet. She climbed up the crashed plane, flinging the cockpit glass open with force fueled strength. Her blood was pumping in her ears, the smell of burning metal making her nose wrinkle at the smell.

Rey yanked at his buckles, the clip was cracked and stuck together. She cursed loudly to herself as she pulled harder and harder. Finally she pulled out a small knife and started sawing at the strap. The fire edging closer and closer to the fuel tank, she sawed with fear making her shake. Poe was going to die and it was going to be her fault. She was a traitor. Finally the strap snapped, and she pulled Poe up by the shoulders of his uniform. He grumbled and his head lolled to the other side as she dragged his dead weight body upwards. He was so heavy, her feet almost slipped out from underneath her. Kylo's hands suddenly were behind her, helping her get her balance. Kylo moved from around Rey, after helping her, he began pulling Poe up out of the cockpit. Unhooking Poe's foot when it got caught in the straps of his harness.

"Rey, lets drag him over here, near the trees. If the x-wing blows up he should be safe over here." Kylo's voice loud, to get Rey's attention, she was staring at Poe's bloody helmet, his burned uniform. She nodded in response to Kylo's order, helping her drag Poe's unconscious body away from the wreckage of the x-wing. The ship fire already spreading faster. They were a good 15 feet away when it blew, the ground shook under their feet enough to knock Rey to her knees. She stayed on her knees for a moment next to Poe, she gently took his helmet off, and wadded up his flight jacket underneath his head. Kylo scoffed again, the effort slowing them farther down than needed.

"I need to tell him i'm going undercover… do you have a personal message recorder?" Rey asked Kylo, who stared at her with a blank face.

"Oh yes. I always carry a personal holo recorder just incase my new student needs to leave a message on an unconscious rebel pilot." he voice so full of sarcasm, that stupid half smile he gave her made her skin bristle.

"Thanks for that useless answer." Rey huffed at him, and began searching Poe's pockets. Rebel pilots had flight recorders for any issues they might have while in flight, often times pilots upgraded to holo recorders so they could make physical references with them. Rey found one in his bottom ankle pocket in his flight suit. Easy enough place to reach for it wasn't covered up in the flight harness straps. She clicked it on, and held it away from Kylo so he wasn't caught in the background when it first started recording. Taking to heed his message of the traitors in the rebellion. She was trusting him completely, she wasn't even aware that she was. Rey took a deep breath and began.

"This message is for General Leia eyes only." she waited a few moments, and continued, turning around ever so slightly to show Kylo Ren standing behind her, with his face showing. To show Leia that Ben wasn't lost to her. He didn't even notice, still thinking he was outside the field of view while he stood over Poe.

"Leia, im going to be going undercover with the first order, to take it down from within, im getting help… from Ben. He hasn't turned away from the light completely, and he's going to help me take down Snoke. He says that there are spies in the Republic Rebellion. Keep an eye out for them. _We had_ to engage the rebel pilots that came at us.. But i tried not to kill them. I tried to shoot them down into rough landings… but i believe one died. Poe is out cold, his crash was hard, but Ben helped me pull him to safety before his x-wing exploded. I hope he recovers well." Not knowing what else to say she took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. "Signing off. Rey." she clicked off the message and put it into Poe's hands, hoping the message would make it to Leia's hands and not anyone else's.

Kylo looked at her oddly, the angle of his mouth looking unpleased as he pulled her up off the ground.

"We have to go." he said softly, his gloved hands searing heat into her upper arms as he let her go, quickly heading back to the ship. Rey gave one last look at the smoke around them, glancing down at Poe one last time before running off after Kylo, into the ship that had just taken down five x-wings, of some of the best pilots of the rebellion. He had left the ship take off ready. A quick take off and they were flying out into space. Rey looked out the main window with an ache in her chest. She hoped that message made it to Leia; she hoped with everything in her life, hoped more than she had when she begged for her family to come back. Every ounce of her body hoped, she'd never know until she'd try to come home.

The stars dumped into hyperdrive, the speckles of the stars turning into long lines of white light. They sat in silence as they continued to where ever they were going. Rey curled in on herself as she sat in the chair. Reflecting the fight they had just left; replaying the wrong moves she had made, what she could of done differently. She took a heavy breath and leaned her head against her knees. Her stomach swirling in frustration.

"We hadn't a choice. We did what we had to, to survive." Kylo said, looking at her with a gentle expression, his voice was soft, she barely angled her head up to look at him, she huffed again, and looked down again. Closing her eyes, tightening her grip on her legs.

"I want to do more than survive." she mumbled softly. Mostly to herself, but Kylo had heard it, he tilted his head to the side. Taking her words to heart, she looked so tired, with dark circles under her eyes. Mud in her hair, dirt smeared across the First Order uniform he'd given her. Soon she was softly snoozing, how he wasn't sure, her neck was at an odd angle and if she leaned too far forward she'd fall out of the chair. Kylo checked their current coordinates to make sure they weren't going to hit anything and dropped out of warp drive. They needed a bit of sleep before going back to the First Order's main ship, before meeting Snoke. So he stretched out in his own seat and went to sleep as well. The ship casually floating near a planet in some system he wasn't sure which one.

(authors note: so i messed up my shoulder again and typing is pretty slow. But im working on the stories equally. Thanks everyone.)


	3. Chapter 3

(AN: starting to write this on the first day of school. Once the ball gets rolling idk how much time I'll have to invest in these. Once I'm close to done with darken and no more than black and white I'll start working on dust storm again. I loved the concept but last year i just didn't have the life available to finish or even revisit it. Please review)

(AN: after i started this chapter it got dark af quickly so i changed the rating. There's violence and abuse, probably be sex at some point. This is the warning be prepared just in case you don't handle this kind of thing well. )

Kylo Ren jerked out of his sleep, Rey's fingers inches from his cheek. Her eyes wide with surprise at him waking the way he had, he almost hissed at her as he jerked his face away. Sitting up in his chair quickly as Rey pulled herself back from being just inches from his face. Kylo Ren felt his face burning with heat, embarrassment clearly etched across his face as he spun the chair away from her. He didn't even want to look her in the face, she'd only see the redness that stood out starkly from his skin and hair.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He practically yelled, his back still facing her, his hands clenching the handrests so tightly. He could almost fell Rey smirking into his back. Kylo Ren pushed his hair back with his hand, the thick curls catching resistance as he ran his fingers through it. He took a deep breath and turned the chair around to face her again.

"I just had the really strong desire to touch your face. I don't know why. I almost couldn't help myself." Rey said, looking at her hand, almost confused, her lips pressed together before she brought her eyes up to meet his. Kylo Ren could almost feel her soul sitting between them, he could reach out and touch it. She swallowed harshly before breaking they're eye contact. She rubbed at her eyes and then face, rubbing the skin and pulling away dirty hands.

"Where are we going?" She asked him, looking out the window at the stars that just floated around them. Dots of white reflected in her eyes.

"We're going home." She turned her head sharply, narrowing her eyes in a way that meant she didn't trust him. He knew she had no home, he was just rubbing it in her face, where they were going would be no home to her. Kylo Ren sighed heavily, before reaching out to flip the switches to start the computer for the coordinates for the hyperdrive. Rey continued to stare at him with contempt from her seat, thinking of the place he referred to as his home. What was it like? The base she'd woken up in on that snow planet? Cold, white, marching echoing overhead on the different levels of the base or ship they were going to. Rey's legs were folded up to her chest again in the chair, she picked at the hem on the bottom of her pants. She stared down almost defeated, almost too bummed, the thought of going to that stark unfriendly place tightened in her chest.

"It won't be too bad." She looked up and stared at the profile of his face, his nose was prominent, it fitted his face, the his nose stood out compared to the rest of his face. His forehead had its own ridge and so did his full pouty lips. His face was a mountain range and it shared the beauty of one. His dark eyes, dark hair, and dark collar framed his face so wonderful; Rey struggled to pull her eyes away from him.

"I'll be around. I know you don't trust me. I know you won't… but you won't be alone. You might even like the ridgid environment." He continued, his voice had a stiffness, he kept his eyes forward for no reason. The hyperdrive drove from the computer. Manual steering had no purpose in hyperdrive. He wasn't looking at her because he felt the burning in the air the last time they held eyes. When they're eyes would meet, the air buzzed, her head spun, her heart would beat so loud she thought he'd be able to hear it.

She nodded but didn't respond to him. She looked back down at her feet, deep in thought. He didn't say anything else and they say in stiff silence. She thought to that buzzing, she knew he felt it too but didn't comment on it, she frowned at him, she didn't want to feel that buzzing. It reminded her of when she had been on starkiller base, when they're minds had bridged and for a moment they were one person, they're breathing had been in sync. They're minds merged and two lives had been flashing before they're eyes. He saw her soul laid bare to him, spread out as if she was nothing but a book. Her sadness and loneliness had been her saving grace as well as her drive. She desired a home, a life, a family to fill the loneliness that haunted her dreams. She often woke in cold sweat even in the drying air of the desert. Fear she'd die alone in that desert always pushed her to move farther. To push harder.

Although she'd also seen him, raw and broken, years of pain dressed up as strength. He tormented himself for what he had done, the cries echoing through his mind in a way he wish they didn't. His soul permanently stained with the darkness of his past. Rey's mind flashed back to the memories she had seen: _she viewed his memories as if like a ghost watching over his shoulder. She watched as he hunched over coals of a dying fire, a younger Kylo Ren, as he pulled a long burning rod out of the coals. The flame reflecting harsh red light onto his face, his young face, pulled tight in preparation; as he took that red hot spike and pressed it flat edge across his back between his shoulder blade. Down the middle of his spine; it went down all the way to the top of his pants. He clenched his teeth to keep from crying out, the smell of burning skin sizzling in the air. She could almost taste the burnt smell on her tongue. He put it back into the fire, the coals stirring and catching to flame again, he pulled the spike out again, before pressing it under his arm against his ribs. He repeated this process for every one of the lives he had taken at the temple. This was his cross to bear. The memory broke as they eyes shifted from each others, only seconds had passed but they had lived the others life. They were united for a moment. Rey's hands shook in their restrains as Kylo Ren turned away from her._

Rey shook her head bringing her out of the double memory. She worried if Kylo had ever thought of the memories that haunted Rey's own life. She wanted to see those burns he had given himself, the ones he had stripping his back, and ribs. The smaller ones for the older ones, the ones who had put up a fight, he didn't feel as bad about killing them. The long ones that went down his back, they were for the younger ones. Ones who didn't understand as he took their lives. The ones who he cried for as he burned himself. Truly the innocent ones out of all of them. She wanted to run her fingers down the ones on his back and hold tightly to the ones on his ribs. She wanted to feel the raised skin, the darker swipes that would stand out harshly compared to his pale flesh, the physical stain on his soul.

The beeping from the computer brought her out of her thoughts, Kylo Ren hadn't moved much, he was sitting stiffly. The ship dropped out of hyperdrive, in front of them was several star destroyers that hung around a much larger star destroyer. It was huge, it looked like the size of a small moon. She gasped in horror at the size of the ship, her hand flew to her neck, she clutched at her collar. Fear evident on her face as she stared out the window, Kylo Ren took a breath, gently he touched her shoulder. Rey startled at his touch and swung her head around to face him. Rey starred in even more horror as he gently thumped his helmet on to his lap, where he had gotten it from she wasn't sure. But he had it, the mask she'd hated the first time she saw him, the mask she feared; and he was donning it once again.

He pulled the ship to autopilot into the bay of the largest star destroyer, he slipped his helmet on, Rey didn't like the hissing noise it made as it clicked into place.

"You have to trust me." The electronic voice came out of the helmet, her skin crawled, fear flashing through her mind. Rey numbly nodded her head. They steeled themselves as they walked over to the door; to open once the ship was landed in the docking bay. Rey squared her shoulders, she wasn't about to have fear showing on her face. She was keenly aware of the dirt marking her skin and uniform. She tugged at the hem to straighten the stained shirt, not sure who would be greeting them at the doors. Rey gulped. Kylo tilted his head towards her, his breathing softly coming through the mask. Everything was wrong with this, her mind was screaming, but her face showed nothing. For so many years in isolation expressions meant almost nothing to her, she had spent most of her years as a blank canvas who screamed to the night sky until her throat was raw and her knees burned from the friction of the sand on her skin.

Rey was hollow; and she will continue to be as long as she was on this ship.

The door beeped, it steamed dramatically as the door lowered to the ground. Blasters were trained on them before the steam even lifted, the distinct clicking noise as the safety was turned off. Rey's ears burned, her blood coursed, she should be running away from the blasters not walking into them. But she held steady, her hands clenched at her sides and Kylos turned his head back to the crowd that came into view, the stormtroopers lowered their weapons as the sight of Kylo Ren's imposing form, his large straight shoulders, his black covered body. He stormed down the walkway, stormtroopers backing out of his way, Rey followed close on his heels, her head held high. She wore the uniform but was severely out of dress, her hair in a much different style than the female officers. She had no cap either. The uniform wasn't fitting for her either, the bottom of it baggy.

Rey noted that people threw themselves out of Kylos way, his stomping could be heard around the corner and they saw almost no one who wanted to face his wrath. He was a different person in the mask, it was his shield he used to protect himself. From what she wasn't sure. She followed him for what felt like hours, the ship itself was so large it'd probably take half a planet day just to get to the other side. They hopped onto small hover trains that shot them towards the far side, the path where other's eyed them uneasily. Kylo Ren was also decently muddy, the fighting with the rebels had dirtied his clean look. Rey wasn't about to break the silence that Kylo was keeping for a reason, as they marched towards their goal. Once the train came to their stop, he stood, without a word Rey followed him off, and alone they stood. He looked over at her, looking her up and down, taking in the dirt, her tired face, the scratch on her cheek that wasn't there before the fire fight. He was deciding if they should see Snoke first, or have her rest, be totally prepared for the real monster she was to face. If he was a murderer, Snoke was the devil himself.

Deciding it was better they go ahead and get this over with, when people were tired it made them seem more open but in reality they were easily to persuade. She didn't so much as open her mouth as she followed behind his clunking feet. Her eyes gazing into his back, he felt as if her vision alone could melt a hole into his spine. They stopped before an elevator, that would lead them to Snoke's lookout. The red room that he sat on a throne, Rey gulped, and Kylo did beside her as well. The elevator dinged, letting them know it was here, they stepped in; for a moment after the doors shut. Rey's hand darted out, holding onto his gloved hand tightly, he looked down at their hands, before lifting his helmetened face towards hers. She took a deep breath and let go.

"Think of Jakku and only Jakku. Be the dead hollow girl you feared you'd become." his voice still sounded so alien to her in that mask. He sounded like a monster, one out of nightmares, of computers coming to life to gut her. She swallowed, her tired mind going back to those husks of a star destroyer she had spent her life harvesting. Her mind drifted to the endless sand that burned to the touch and made her sink to her knees in loneliness. She knew what he meant, her loneliness would protect their goal, just like his pain protected his goal. The doors opened at the floor they've came for, for the person they came to see. He was small, much smaller than Rey thought he would be.

He was thin, his skin grey and his face warped from some battle he had fought so long ago. He sat in a throne surrounded by men in red suits of armor. They stood so still she thought they were statues, but only for a moment. She turned to look back at Snoke, he sat forward at their arrival; his face spread wide in a rotten tooth smile.

"Oh Kylo Ren, i see you've brought the girl who has bested you. Is it to her death?" Rey shot a sharp look at Kylo, fear flashing across her face, but Kylo only shook his head. He kneeled down before the small man in the throne. Kylo's voice coming out of the mask, loud enough to be heard but soft enough for respect.

"No master. She's come to be trained. I'll be her master." he said, his head bowed down, Rey stared at him for only a moment before she hurried down to her knee as well. She was here to sell it, not raise suspension. Snoke tapped his chin with a large dirty nail, the smile still on his face. He raised his finger, and Rey felt herself sliding out towards him. Her knee no longer touching the ground, she looked up in fear.

"I'll read her mind, see if its true." his voice was hollow, just like she was she reminded herself. Her tired mind going back to the days of sadness, loneliness. She remembered one day that she got caught in a sandstorm. The storm had blown sand into her mouth, nose, ears and eyes, once the storm passed she couldn't move for days. If it wasn't for the little water she used to keep herself going she would of died from dehydration. The water helped wash some of the sand out of her eyes, but she was blinded for several days. She feared she would never see the sun again, that the sand had done too much damage to her vision. Rey stumbled for days to find something to scavenge, she had gone through all the things she knew in her mind to be worth at least the smallest crumb of bread.

Rey had lucked out, the old woman who scavenged had taken pity on her the one time in her whole life, and had given her just enough food to survive until her vision had come back. Rey had spent the next five years giving that old woman just whatever Rey had extra, she thought she had a friend in this woman. But it seemed the one gift she'd given her was the last, treating Rey like a damned stray she didn't want around. Sending her away once she'd given her just enough of her rations. Rey spent five extra years with the heartbreak of being not good enough again, she dealt with this struggle by screaming into the sky. Every night, she'd scream until there was nothing left in her chest, until the wind had taken her pain away. This memory consumed Rey like a fire, her chest burned with rage again, she had that desire to scream her rejection away until there was nothing left of her hollow soul.

Snoke was grinning to himself, as he watched this memory play out in her mind, the pain had worked, he didn't see what was behind the curtain, all he saw was her rejection and hate. Her hollow rage, her mind flashed to when she was below the mountain in that cave, the carvings on the walls calling her name. The darkness brushed against her ankles like a loyal pet that's been following in her steps her whole life. Snoke's smile spread wider, he waved the memory off, having seen enough. Rey sank to her other knee once she was placed back on the ground. Her body tired and sore, even though she hadn't moved.

Tears pricked at her eyes but Snoke was dismissing them, the memory ached in her chest. She dumbly followed Kylo Ren out of the throne room, he didn't look at her until the door was closed. He took his mask off and dropped it on the floor, Rey hadn't even noticed until his eyes were looking into hers. His gloveless hands were on her shoulders, squeezing, he was saying something to her but she wasn't going to listen. The doors opened and she just walked out of the elevator, she had no plan or goals to where she was going. She was just walking. Kylo pulled his gloves back onto his hands before following after her, he should of dragged her off to the room he planned to give her, but he was curious to see where she went when she was only being pulled along.

Eventually she found herself standing at the top railing of the lookout deck of the large transport loading docks, the area around the room being at least 4 stories high up for heavy machines to load and unload ships that came in with supplies. Ships this large needed almost constant supply flow and the large transport ships provided it. Rey was vaguely aware of Kylo standing at rest behind her, his hands clasped behind his back, his feet spread shoulder length apart. She could feel his eyes on her back, his large dark soulful eyes. He'd been following her since they left Snoke. Which she wasn't even sure how long ago that had been since she could stand here staring numbly at this lifeless machines. The droids didn't even have any of the spunk or oddities that the regular droids had. These were cold machines serving a purpose. Which wasn't her, she watched as machines marched back and forth just as stiffly and inhuman as the troopers she'd seen on the way.

Rey squeezed the handrail under her hands, something about her visit with Snoke had brought out all the years of dread she'd been ignoring or pushing away. The dam had broken and she wasn't sure she could come up from the drowning of emotions she was feeling. So many she almost didn't feel anything. The cold metal was sucking the heat out of her hands, she moved to climb on top of the handrail. Kylo almost jumped out of his skin at her climbing the railing, he rushed over ready to grab her if she decided to jump. He knew Snoke could fuck with your head but he hadn't been prepared for the amount of nothing he'd pulled out of Rey. the farthest corners of her mind was a piling ground for her negative emotions, no wonder she had such a pull to the dark.

That pull would take her over the edge if he wasn't careful. He grabbed the back of her shirt, about to yank her back onto the ground at his feet when she just sat on the top of the railing. Her head turned to look at him as if he wasn't there, and suddenly her eyes focused on his, rage bursting through her. She turned her body and pounced on to him, shoving his body down onto the ground, her rage almost palabal in the air. Her fists were slamming into his upper body, his face was being protected by his arms as she rained down a flurry of punches. Rey was yelling, screaming, the air around them crackling with a force he hadn't felt since the forest on starkiller base.

He grabbed her wrists tightly, flipping them over on the catwalk, random stormtroopers skirting around their fist fighting. Rey twisted her wrist free of one of his arms and quickly enough got a good clean punch to his cheek. When his head turned back to hers, his eyes met hers, a blazing rage burned deep within; his cheek has a cut in it and her knuckles were bleeding. And oh did he burn, she could feel his heat through all their layers. He rested his fist and punched the ground right next to her, the edge of his glove touching the edge of her face. Kylo almost growled as he stood up, grabbing her by the shoulders and shoving her against the wall so hard there was an echoing thump through the room. The stormtroopers had stopped the machinery and were hiding. They knew better than to stick around during one of his fights or tramtums.

His eyes blazed with a rage Rey hadn't seen before, her belly burned with a similar feeling just staring into his eyes. Her shoulders ached from the contact they made on the wall, his fingers digging into the flesh, the gloves preventing nails from going into her skin. Although they didn't do much from stopping the sheer strength of his hands. Rey cried out in pain, he pulled her away from the wall and slammed her back into it. Pressing his full weight against her as he did so, using their combined weight to shove her into the paneled wall as he possibly could. Rey could feel bruises forming under his hands, under his force, he had a weight and height advantage and she was smart enough to know she should stop fighting. Although she didn't want to, she wanted to feel his rage some more.

She kicked up at him with her legs as best she could, making contact with his shin, he loosened his grip just enough for her to break free. She shot out and slammed her shoulder into his upper chest, digging down with her heels and throwing her full body into the push. She shoved him off of his feet and back down to the ground. Kylo's upper back slammed into the ground, the air was knocked loose out of his chest as Rey came down on him with her knee. He rolled out of the path of her knee, which had been going straight for his sternum, her knee slammed into the ground with a sickening sound.

Kylo marveled at the rage he found in her eyes, the pain he felt in the air, she didn't care and she would keep fighting until she was broken under his hands. He was almost sure that's what she wanted. He turned and swung his own hand out, an open palm slap across her face echoed in the room and yet she still wouldn't stop. Blood dripped out of her mouth as she swung her fist out to meet his face again. He got to his knees and used his forearm to block the punch, grabbing her arm and twisting it with a popping sound. Rey dropped to the ground just long enough for Kylo to get his feet under him. He towered over Rey as she knelt on the ground in front of him. She was panting so heavily, sweating from the strain of fighting him; one arm leaning against the leg with the foot pressed against the ground. Kylo hoped the fight was out of her, but Rey had other ideas, she jumped up, swinging her good arm up in a swift uppercut.

It made contact with a wet smack sound, kylo's head snapping up and backwards, if he had been closer to the wall his head would of made a sickening cracking noise against it. He composed himself as quickly as he could, Rey was struggling to keep her momentum going and sank to the ground again. He grabbed her again, this time he wasn't playing with her. He kicked her leg out from under her, his hand wrapped around her throat. He had force choked enough people, but his hand perfectly fitting around her throat made his skin crawl with a sick pleasure. She struggled for a moment before he swung them around, slamming her into the wall again as hard as he possibly can. Blooding dripping out of his mouth faster and darker than from hers. Her lip was busted on the inside, her tooth must of caught her lip.

Kylo's was practically pouring out as his tongue had been bitten a clean hole through the middle from her uppercut; it was still attached but would need time to heal. He turned his head, spitting the blood out onto the floor next to them. He lifted her body up against the wall so her feet were barely touching the ground. He made a point not to put pressure on the windpipe, only squeezing from the sides, harsh, gently, at times loosely holding her neck. She gasped everytime his fingers squeezed just a touch tighter, he didn't see fear in her eyes. Her eyes were borrowing into his and the connection they shared the first time in the interrogation room flashed through them again. He could practically see her desire burning in her chest, her mind was dazzlingly buzzing with the desire to fuck him right on this catwalk in front of everyone.

If he wasn't in such a rage he just might be flattered, she didn't claw at his fist, she knew it was pointless. He could feel his own desire bubbling to the surface, crawling at his skin and taking on a form of its own. His gloved fingers tightened again and he could feel her knees wobbling just enough for him to slam his mouth against hers. The taste of her blood mixed with his own in his mouth, his bitten bleeding tongue slid into her mouth. She purred against his mouth as hers touched against his, she bit his tongue gingerly; harder once he pressed himself against her. His free hand grabbed onto her hip as he felt her start sucking on his tongue. She slid her hands around his own neck, one on his throat squeezing as her other went into his hair. She got a handful and pulled his head sharply towards her, he dropped her slightly at the force of it. She could feel his excitement against her, she wiggled just enough to encourage it, moving her leg up and between his legs.

Rey sighed heavily against his harsh lips, they burned when he pulled away, his head replacing his hand on her throat as he bit harshly into the soft skin between her neck and shoulder. Rey could feel the blood dripping down her chin, if it was hers or his she didn't care in this moment. She let out a squeak of pain that turned into a heavenly sigh; his teeth leaving marks all over her neck, she slid one of her hands up his back, tracing the lines she knew the markings he'd given himself was. The main three along his spine were her favorites that she wanted to touch, just to get her hand under his shirt wasn't going to happen unless he took the belt off. The whole thing was belted on the top. His grip loosened on her hips as he sucked in a breath as to what her fingers were tracing. He completely pulled back away from her, when she dug her nails into the thick fabric over his ribs, all her nails lining up with where the burns were placed.

She let out a disgruntled sound at him stopping, she looked into his face, he leaned in close to her face again, this time almost gently kissing the edge of her jaw. He shoved a piece of paper into her hand, biting at her ear and turned to leave. Leaving her against the wall, blood on the catwalk, blood on the wall, her knuckles were a bloody mess and her shoulder hurt to move it. She felt beaten and excited, he had just stormed off leaving her in a bleeding pile as she slumped to the floor. Her breath coming out in half sobs half laughs. He could of killed her, and she liked it. She liked the burning of his hands through his gloves, the bruising strength of his kisses. She took a deep breath and looked down at the paper he'd given her, it was a map of the star destroyer with the locations of major importance.

A mess hall was listed, a training room, his quarters, hers… which was right down the hall from his, this map wasn't of the whole ship, it was maybe less than half, she clenched the map tightly. Her lip stung as she realized tears dripped down her face, not tears of sadness, but tears of release. The rage that was solid in her chest felt lighter, like a sink faucet had been turned on and left to run for awhile. She touched the map gently where his quarters were listed at being, blood dripping from her chin onto the paper. Soaking in as the blood mixed with tears, she couldn't wait for the next clash they'd have. The burning was taking over her whole body, she felt like she'd set fire if it wasn't quenched.

Pulling herself to her feet, the catwalk was still painful empty, the whole bay echoing with silence, she licked her lips. Tasting only their blood and salt she steadied herself against the wall before moving towards the area labeled as her rooms. She'd have to go up a set or elevators, dragging her hand along the wall as she walked. Rey hoped that no one would bother her, in her torn and tattered form. The sick smile plastered across her face was a good deterrent. Any stormtroopers she crossed saw the blood dripping down her chin out of her mouth and the smile on her face; they all went running the other direction. Rey understood why Kylo enjoyed the fear he bred among the stormtroopers.

Kylo had left her against the wall, his skin burned underneath his layers at where her fingers had been tracing, he had a suspicion she knew about the branding he'd given himself in his younger days. What he hadn't expected was her desire to see them. When their minds had briefly crosses again, he'd seen in her mind the amount of times she's spent recently imagined running her hands, digging her nails into the flesh of the dark marks on his body. Her dark little smile as she got to run her fingers up and down his spine. It made a shiver run down his spine and made the rest of his body heat up almost unbearably. As soon as he staggered back to his room, he had stripped all the layers he wore. He threw them to the floor, he dragged himself into his bathroom off the main room of his plain bedroom. The mirror showed an expression full of heat, he took a towel and rubbed the starting to dry blood off of his face. He grinned to himself in the mirror, his teeth still a slightly darker blood color. Kylo gripped the edge of the sink harshly, holding onto it until his knuckles were white and he could finally breathe.

The desire to bash her against the wall until he killed her or fuck her against the wall instead passed, he took deeper breaths until he was steady on his own legs. Starting the water he could vaguely hear the sound of storm troopers quickly running down the hall, he flared for a second in concern of them being attacked. Until he could feel her walking down the hall, her rage was still blowing around her, and it took all of his strength for a moment to not drag her in here. If he was to teach her he needed to learn how to control this dark urge that burned under his skin. She needed time to herself too, this moment of dark might pass like a shadow once the sunlight comes back out to play. Kylo pulled the rest of his clothes off before throwing himself into the shower, he'd hurt tomorrow, but today the ache was a pleasurable one.

Rey stopped for a moment outside of the door that was Kylo's, she knew he was inside, she could feel the swirling from the otherside, the urge to barge into his room was strong. She brushed it off and went to her rooms. Her shoulder stung, and as she stripped the clothes off her body in the shower the bruises were already darkening in color. The splotches of purple, across her shoulders, her hips. The red bite marks on her neck, her overly red lips with blood running down her chin; her skin looked pale and washed out for the first time she could remember. She looked like a dead body, but she smiled to herself, turning to look at the marks on her back. The backside of her shoulders had dark purple spots where his fingers had been digging into her skin, his grip stronger than her thin clothes. Her breath caught in her throat at the large red mark from him slamming her into the wall, it spread across her whole upper back.

She reached with her 'good arm' with everything hurting she used that loosely, and touched the red blotchy block across her back. It didn't hurt like she was expecting it to. A hiccup came out of her mouth as she leaned against the wall, tears coming to her eyes, sobs coming out of her chest. She slid down the wall and held tightly to her legs, the bruises making themselves show there too. Rey wasn't totally sure as to why she was crying, but the crying was refreshing. A cold rain on a hot summer day, a saying she never experienced herself. The fight had helped relieve the rage she had felt from the meeting with Snoke, but it still didn't relieve the sadness it had brought back into the forefront of her mind. The only person who she hadn't felt like an island next to was in his own rooms down the hallway. Dealing with his own issues they way he saw fit, the way he always did, she could almost hear the sizzle of the spike being inserted into the fire pit.

Rey shook her head, she must be imagining things again, he had no reason to do that, the one memory she had of him doing that was the only time he added to his collection. The other times she'd seen the poker was when he was darkening the burns that faded to a light color. The last time he'd done it, he'd take some iron rust and rubbed it into the burns. Like a kind of tattoo. She rubbed at her arms, a chill creeping up her naked body as she lay crumpled on the floor of the bathroom.

When she was stiff and tired, she pulled herself up by the counter of the sink. Goosebumps standing up everywhere on her skin, she took a cold washcloth and rubbed at the dirty area of her face the best she could. She took the washcloth to her hands and her neck. The cold not doing anything to take the redness out of the bite marks on her neck, the burn in her stomach started again. But she just dragged herself to the bed, pulling out what seemed to be prestocked generic clothes from the one drawer of the dresser. Rey pulled those clothes on and crawled into the bed, it was softer than she thought it would be and was warm. The chill leaving her quickly as she settled into the bed, sleep overtaking her quickly. The last two weeks catching up to her.

()

Kylo Ren marched back and forth in front of her door. Concern and rage radiating off of him like a cloud, he had pounded on her door on and off for several hours. He roared at anyone who was walking by, the stormtroopers avoiding him like a lightning storm. Kylo just removed his hand from pounding on the door again when General Hux strutted up to him, his hands behind his back and a twisted grin on his face.

"What do you want?" his words coming out in a growl through his helmet, he donned it after waking up in the morning. The bruises Rey had inflected looking worse than after their first fight in the forest. Hux's lips curled up into a larger smile, he knew something. Curling his hands into fists he stood up to his full height, forcing the only slightly shorter Hux to bring his face up just a touch higher to look into Kylo's masked face.

"After hearing some reports of a conflict yesterday i decided to watch the security tapes. I could be wrong… but i don't think you're supposed to brutally beat your student, and then make out with them. Plus i dont think Snoke would approve of that either." Kylo bristled, Hux was overstepping his boundaries, overstepping in a way that will get him killed. He was tempted to just strangle him with his own hands. Kylo wrapped his large hands around his upper arms and squeezed, suddenly there was concern that flashed on Hux's face. The look passed quickly but Kylo Ren saw it, he knew he scared him.

"You'd be best not to push me Hux, Snokes approval of your methods are the only reason i haven't put my lightsaber through your stomach." The electronic voice coming out harsh, even the computerized sound expressing his rage. Hux took a gulp, and a smile spread across his face. He held his hands up in defeat.

"Right you are Kylo Ren, excuse me." he dropped his hands, and Kylo Ren dropped his hold on the general. Who trying to maintain his composer went scurrying quickly down the hall; Kylo was sure that as soon as he was around the corner he went running as fast as he could while still having a small air of dignitary. If he wasn't so angry he would of enjoyed his fear.

The door slide open behind him, standing in the doorframe was a tired, roughed up Rey, she was wearing an overly baggy shirt that was sliding to the side. Her shoulder was poking out, the bruises he'd left on her shoulder was a dark purple. She had a light smile on her lips, despite her looking like she'd gotten run over by one of the low hovercrafts, she seemed in a decent mood. She still had large bags under her eyes, but she didn't seem so tired, she turned and left the door open. Kylo Ren followed behind on heavy feet, he shut the door behind him once he was in the room. The room was dark, none of the overhead lights were on, a small small table lamp was on in the corner. The bed was a mess of blankets, all kicked one way or the other.

She sat down at a table, pulling her knees up to her chest and looking at his helmet with a sour expression. She hated his helmet and he knew it, he grinned beneath the mask. Rey grumbled to herself when her stomach let out a loud growl. He watched as Rey glanced around the room, taking in the small kitchen shoved into the corner. Her eyes seemed to be making calculations, of where the room was in relation to the rest of the ship. Why the room would have a kitchen, the rank she now possessed to be given a suite like this. Rey swung her eyes back to his, she pointed at her face and then at his. She didn't want to ask him to remove it, but she hated it.

"I will if you say it." his voice coming through the speakers, she frowned so deeply that he couldn't help but chuckle at. The bruises on her face accenting her displeasure at having to; her stomach growled loudly again.

"If you don't feel like cooking or going to the mess hall i could send something up for you. You look in too rough of shape to begin training today."

He began to stand, his own injuries voicing their pain to him, but he wouldn't show it to her. He stood with what he hoped was seamless and unpained. Walking towards the door she shot her hand forward, his foot stopping inches before touching the ground. He looked down, testing the resistance, he looked over at Rey's face, she was straining, he pushed harder against the resistance. It wasn't just his foot that was being blocked, a whole wall in front of his body was holding him back. Kylo put more effort into it, hardly any of his body was actually trying, but he was testing her. The girl who hadn't eaten much for weeks, the girl who slept on dirt and in uncomfortable chairs, she was holding him back, she was preventing him from moving forward. The girl who had gotten the daylights beaten out of her the night before, she was strong. He raised his eyebrows behind his helmet. Pushing forward with actual effort he was able to shatter the blockade she'd made. It was too rigid, it didn't flex when he pushed harder against it. That would be the first lesson he teaches her,

Rey was panting, sweat was on her forehead and dripping down her face. Her whole upper body was moving with her breathing. It put a lot of strain on her to do that, but she'd done it so well for being so out of sorts. Kylo Ren was actually pretty proud of her. She opened her mouth to speak, her breathing starting to even out. He tilted his head as he waited; turning to face her completely.

"Take your helmet off." her voice huffed out, she lowered her hand and pushed it against her chest. The helmet hissed as it disengaged from its locked position. He walked over back to the table Rey was sitting at, pulling it off and it thunked against the table heavily. Her eyes wandered all over his face, the dark room not doing wonders on all the bruising on his face. The cut on his cheek had a purple yellow mark around it, his eye was a dark purple. The underside of his chin had a very large blotch of color from the uppercut she gave him. She grinned, her breathing slowing down to normal. His marks showed harsher on his skin compared to hers, his pale white skin a sharp contrast to the dark splotches. He sat back down, the helmet between the two of them; he flipped the light panel next to the table, turning on a couple of lights. Kylo didn't enjoy sitting in the dark with Rey, he couldn't get a very good look at her eyes, her bruises. The light over the table turned on; Rey half backed away as her eyes adjusted to the brightness. She narrowed at her eyes at Kylo, he half smirked at her. Drinking in the large bruise across her cheek where he had slapped her; the marks cross her necks, from a much different activity than a fight.

When his eyes met hers they had a glint in her eyes, the one that keeps making him flashback to the forest. The first time he saw it as rage, the second time as solidarity, this time, it held a burning. Burning for what he couldn't quite decide on. A burning to murder him? Possible.

"When do we start my training?" She asked, dragging her eyes away from his, a coldness swept over him that the withdrawal.

"When we don't look like we tried to murder each other." he said with a shrug, looking at the walls of the room. Her mind was processing the decision; laying out her plan or wondering when things were going to start spinning.

"And… the other goal?" there was hesitation in her voice, the old Rey was coming out, the good Rey he wanted to crush.

"That'll be on the back burner until you're strong enough. We bide our time." he looked at his gloved fingers, like he was inspecting his nails. Indifference across his face as she regarded him.

"We bide our time." she repeated, and they went back into a silence, it wasn't a bad one, it was a stiff one. They weren't sure where they sat with each other, the day before still playing before their minds.

(well, we'll see where this project goes huh)


	4. Chapter 4

(i hope people are enjoying this? Not a lot of feedback but i mostly write for myself anyway :P thanks to those who read it, reviews are wonderful motivators, even private messages are always a benefit. It gets graphic? Also I'm sure youve noticed ive added details that aren't cannon about like the brands. ?% not canon.)

Kylo was sweating, it was dripping down his back between his skin and the heavy layers of clothes he was wearing. His breaths coming out in heavy puffs from his helmet, he swung the weighted training sword. The sword thunked against the training dummies littered across the room. A half jump half twirl as the sword smacked against the dummy, it leaned to the side from the force of it before righting itself. He trained in his heavy gear to be use to the way it felt when he had to fight in it out in the field. After getting in what he thought was enough physical training he dropped the sword on the ground by the wall. Not caring where it ended up; no one else besides himself used this training room. Besides when a random knight of ren was around, even then they didn't stay long, they were spread to the far corners of the galaxy causing trouble and taking over worlds. Kylo pulled himself towards the large windows that faced out into space, why the training rooms had some of the best views always perplexed Kylo. He'd think they'd be in some ranking officers quarters. He crossed his legs and relaxed, leaning back with his hands pressed to the ground. His heavy breathing returning to normal as he stared out into space. Rey watched him from the door, she never came in while he was training, she always stood nearby watching. She wondered if he was as keenly aware of her like she was of him. The weeks had bled past with nothing of importance. She had healed and he had beaten her down again, his strength surpassing hers, every fight they had she would land a few good hits. Although they never seemed to plague him like they had for her. She'd leave each training session heavy of breathing and heavy of heart.

After that first time they'd fought and it had gone much past that he held a hint of reservation that made him feel pulled from her. Every time she'd get close he'd pull away. During whatever they were doing and for days afterwards. He had a coldness that made goosebumps raise on her skin. An echo of the coldness of the ship.

He knew she was there, standing by the door, he took his helmet off as she watched his dark curls fall out of it. His skin glowed in the light coming from the space window, washed out his color. Pushing the white and black color scheme he favored. Rey walked over to where he was sitting and sat down next to him. The silence echoing with the silence inside her. During the weeks she would often go days at a time without speaking to a soul, besides the wordless conversations she held with Kylo. He didn't even look at her as she sat lightly down, her long legs being pulled up to her chest. She made herself smaller around him, not for fear of his rage, but for fear of his rejection. Rey liked his fire, when he was muted, she missed his burning.

They sat in silence for a long time, the stars and space floating lazily around them. They watched as tie-fighters dispatched from the docking station many floors below. Tie-fighters fighting positions, scrambling before reforming in formation. Rey picked at a loose stitch on the hem of her pants. Kylo glancing over and raising an eyebrow at her dejection.

"Something's bothering you." a statement, it was true, Rey had the gnawing feeling of loneliness creeping down her back. Would he judge her for it? She swallowed, straightening her spine, hoping for some support from the rigid stance.

"I'm… lonely." She said it, it was out between them, they'd been in a difficult communication, difficult fluctuating connection.

He looked her up and down, sliding a hand through his hair with a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry." She jolted her head up and her mouth hung open. Kylo...Ren... apologized?

"Why are you sorry?" Her voice soft, so quiet but in the silence of the room, the closeness they were. He'd have no problem to hear her, he could hear the desperation in her voice. The strain as she wanted to hear it, hear he wanted her close to him.

"I told you, you weren't alone… and I treated it like I lied. I don't want you to feel lonely here." He turned his body half towards her, unfolding his legs and laying back. He faced her and gently touched her ankle. The skin that gapped between her pants and shoes. He pulled his hands away, she almost groaned a no. Rey grinded her teeth together as he slowly pulled the tips of fingers to his gloves. Pulling each one off as his eyes stared into her face, she knew her want was written all over her it. The raw uncut need for contact. Her lips were pressed together tightly, her eyes sharply focused on his hands. Kylo dropped the gloves to the ground one hand went under his head as he propped himself up. The other hand slid it's way back to her ankle. At the moment his calloused fingers brushed against the skin a large shiver went up her spine.

Kylo licked his lips, the movement catching her eyes, dragging her eyes up from his hand to his face. Her eyes gravitating towards his lips, they had a reddish tint that was mostly washed out in the space light. Her eyes flicked up to his eyes and got caught staring into them. The dim light coming from the windows made his eyes dark, so dark they seemed black. His head was tilted towards her, he had a glint in his eyes that made her mouth go dry. She licked at her own lips as she stared at the hungry look he had. Rey's attention was brought back to the heat on her ankle, his large fingers slowly sliding their way up the backside of her leg. They brushed against a scar she had there, it trailed all the way down the back of her caff. He grabbed her caff tightly before loosely drag his fingers up and down on the scar.

Rey hardly moved, she hardly breathed as his hand slid back down her leg, ending up at her ankle again. The featherlight touch of his fingertips made Rey shudder, before he withdrew his hand. Her skin felt cold once his hand was gone, she turned her head away from his face to stare into space. Focusing on her breathing and the space outside she attempted to center herself. His eyes were burning into the side of her face, she heard him lean forward, sitting up straighter, getting closer to her. She could feel the little puffs of air on her cheek. When she turned her attention to him, he was only a few inches from her face. A dark look in his eyes as his eyes glanced over her face, taking in every little detail to it. The small scar she had on her cheek, the other scar next to her eye. The closeness should of startled her, she should of jumped back and ran to her room, but she didn't. Rey was starving for contact, her body pulled her closer to him, she was starved for his heat. The kind of contact he offered was burning with heat, something pulling her to him. No one else had stirred this kind of need in her.

The friendships she had formed were good enough for a makeshift family, the bond she had forged with others, she'd do anything for. Although the pull she felt with Kylo, it took her breath away, which looking deep into his eyes her breath hitched. Their minds connected and she could see into his mind, which was on her. The way the light reflected on her face was all over his mind, the way her eyes would flutter up and down as they looked between his lips and his eyes. Kylo's mind flashed to the red marks that hung on her neck that day after their fight. The memory breaking as it turned to not a memory but a desire; one where she had those red bite marks littering her chest and stomach. His teeth sinking into the flesh on her stomach as he made another.

She was jolted out of the thought in his mind as he gently pressed his lips against hers, it didn't have all the burning fire the first kiss they shared had. This one was tender and kind, his hand gently placing itself on her shoulder. His nails softly digging into the fabric. She pressed in closer, kissing him back with more force than he had started the kiss. His lips were warm on hers, as they moved against each other. Rey put her hand against his cheek, deepening the kiss as she leaned her weight against him. Rey humming her joy against his lips before he pulled away, pulling his hand off her shoulder. It was a small simple kiss, she kept her eyes closed for a moment before she opened her eyes, hoping he'd lean back in for another. When she opened her eyes, he was gone, and her heart dropped into her stomach.

Rey bolted out of her seated position, lurching towards the main training area. She picked up the training sword. Swinging the heavy sword toward the training dummy. It thunked against it loudly, the echoing in the room and down her limbs. Swinging until her frustration and dejection was spent. Sweat dripped down her face, her chest heaved with exertion, the only sound in her ears being the whoosh of the air and the sound of the sword hitting the dummy. Her hands felt slick with sweat, her lungs burned for air. Her breath was coming out in puffs as the swords weight was starting to wear on her. With one last heavy swing the sword slipped out of her fingers before flying across the room, the sweat on her palms making her lose the grip she had. It slammed into the far wall, cracking the panel it struck, before falling to the ground with a loud bang. Looking around the room she noticed everything was pushed around the room.

At odd angles that caught her attention. The training dummies with their heavy weighted bases were shoved to the left, tilted away from her. The crates they used for jumping training was shoved back at least a foot, the dirt underneath it showing. The white floors all had brown dirt marks from the objects being moved that sat there. Understanding dawning in her mind as she looked around before looking at her feet. Around Rey's feet was a cracked paneling, the panel of the floor tile she stood on was broken around her feet. A heavy force coming out of her, pushing everything down and away from her. She stood in a circle with everything being pushed away from her. She felt like she was standing on an island, with just herself for company. She had lived with loneliness, when Kylo wasn't around she didn't think she could live with it further.

()

She was summoned by a stormtrooper to Captain Phasma's office. The stormtrooper stating that she'd be in the company of General Hux and Kylo Ren as well. Rey took a moment to look at her clothes, she hadn't bothered to ask for different clothes as of yet. The baggy size of the first order uniform reminder her she wasn't really in the first order. Her hair was out if uniform, a top bun with the rest of it hanging loose around her neck. She cuffed the pants up so her ankles were exposed. The pants were much too long for her and she hated the full length of them. If she wasn't careful she'd trip on the bottom hang of them. Rey shrugged about her uniform as she followed the Storm trooper to Phasmas office. The walk felt long but so did every trip she made out of her room. The hallways we're always desolate and empty in the areas immediately surrounding Kylo Ren's rooms. Rey had taken her time to start befriending the random trooper that patrolled the surrounding hallways. She followed the strange one in front of her, she hadn't seen the one she liked in awhile. Although she didn't know his name so she wasn't sure how she could tell them apart. Rey could feel it, she thought.

The walk to her office only took a few minutes, much less time than if she had wandered herself. The trooper infront of her taking her through the mess hall as a shortcut. Upon walking through all the troopers sitting, standing, eating, talking, all turned to look at her. A sea of faces looked up at her before they all turned their heads painfully quickly away, not wanting to offend her if she had the temper of her master. She tried to keep the tears from pricking at the edges of her eyes. Taking a deep breath as they made it through the large room she was dropped off in front of a door.

Rey swallowed and opened the door, it sliding open quietly and smoothly. Inside the room stood General Hux, his red hair shining in the office light. Captain Phasma sat at the desk, papers scattered all over it. Kylo Ren stood next to the desk, his helmet sitting on the desk while his dark curls were everywhere. Hanging wildly around his face. They all turned to look at her when she walked into the room. Hux's face turned into a frown as he stared at Rey, looking up and down at her clothing and her hair. He must not of liked what he saw because he turned to Phasma, who shook her head in disappointment. Or what Rey assumed to be disappointment, hard to tell with her having the shiny stormtrooper helmet of Captain rank hiding her face.

Rey turned her head towards where Kylo had his hands heavily planted on to the desk, he didn't give her a look over like the other two had. What purpose was she here for? Display? Rage burned in the back of her throat as Hux waved her off, he turned away from her and faced the other two. Red blurred the edges of her vision as she opened her mouth, it was then that Kylo looked up from the desk, his eyes meeting hers. Rey was practically hissing through her teeth as she shot her hand forward, force pushing Hux forward to where he slammed into the desk. His head bouncing off the desk as he bent at the waist. A large proud smirk spread across Kylo's face as he witnessed Hux's body slip off the desk and onto the ground.

Blood was running down a cut in his eyebrow, and coming out of a split on his lip. He jumped up in rage, whirling on where Rey stood. She stood her ground, planting her feet and squaring her shoulders as he bristled like a orange tabby who had water flicked at him. Hux pulled his blaster from his hip and aimed it at Rey, his finger closing on the trigger. Rey braced herself for jumping out of the way, or pushing back with the force again.

Kylo raised her hand, Hux couldn't pull the trigger even if he wanted to, the force that Kylo was pushing onto his blaster flung it out of his hand. It hit the wall on the other side of the room, Hux turned his red raged face to Kylo. Rey noticed how his face had turned the same shade of red as his hair.

"My apprentice does not follow your orders Hux, don't think you have control in this situation." he lowered his hand and faced the desk again. Looking at the large blueprint paper that was now sitting on the desk. Phasma pointed to something on the paper. Ignoring the the hostility between Hux and Rey, treating the situation with indifference. Hux grumbled, glaring at Rey as he wiped some blood from his face. Rey stuck her tongue out at him, his face changed about six shades darker red. Steam was practically coming out of his ears. A large grin spread across her face, Kylo glanced up, not bothering to straighten up this time. He shot Rey a look that made her stop her antagonization, he waved her over to him. She walked up, brushing past Hux like he wasn't real. He was a tall thin man who demanded every respect he should have, and with Rey's disregarding him it burned his pride.

"Ren, why haven't you gotten Rey proper clothing? Why does she continue disrespecting my uniform?" Hux's voice was almost a whine as he glared at her, his face still several shades of red. Kylo tilted his head as he looked over Rey's clothing, before looking at Hux. He shrugged, his mouth qorking in a way that made Rey's heart tug. He looked so much like Han in that moment. He didn't even know was something his father had done, if he did know he'd probably try to squash it.

"I hadn't really thought about it, she has clothes she trains in, but i'll get her something for general wear… that'll mark her as my apprentice." Hux had a relieved almost sick smile as he narrowed his eyes as he looked into Rey's face. Hoping Rey would be heartbroken to look like Kylo, instead Rey just shrugged as well. Kylo's style was very in peoples face, but in a way that commanded respect. If she was going to wear something similar, it wouldn't be all bad. Hux's face dropped his enjoyment, turning to look at the blueprint, holding up a hand to wave her off; but stopped and looked over at Rey. she raised an eyebrow and he dropped his hand to his side.

Rey peaked a look at the blueprints, not sure if she was allowed to see what was going on, her heart dropped as she stared at it. It looked like a rebel base, one she hadn't seen before. It was set in the middle of several mountain ranges. Phasma's electronic voice brought her eyes up to where she was sitting.

"Should the girl be here? Her loyalties are untested." Kylo and Hux turning their attention to her, she looked to the side, to where the command console sat. it seemed to be a command console for the hallways in this area of the ship, the hallways had felt like a prison, maybe that's where they were. Phasma was the Captain of the stormtroopers and the prison warden.

"That's why she's here. I'm putting her under your command Phasma. I want her to be in charge of reconditioning and removal." Kylo's voice not obstructed by his helmet, but his words were ice, a shiver went up Rey's spine. Removal sounded very daunting, Rey had heard Finn mention reconditioning, he said that it wasn't pleasant. That was all he was willing to say. Phasma tapped at her helmeted chin, Hux crossed his arms. That was his answer, Phasma stood, walking around her desk and standing in front of Rey. Rey straightened her back up, she stood much shorter than the other woman, who was the same height as Kylo. Phasma circled around her, Kylo groaned with impatience, a low chuckle coming out behind Rey, from Phasma.

"I'm messing with you." Rey could hear the teasing tone she had, she wondered how close her and Kylo were. She bristled at the thought despite herself.

"She'll be toughened up by the decisions. Although…." Kylo tilted his head, crossing his own arms as he lounged against the desk. He looked anything but relaxed, a slight tilt of his lips forming a half-assed frown.

"She either wears the uniform right, or you get her different clothes. Sooner than later Ren." Rey instinctively reached up, touching the bottom of her hanging hair. Phasma spoke about her like she wasn't here, instead of prickling with rage, a chill ran over her skin. Kylo scoffed before nodding, looking Rey up and down, committing something to memory as he turned back to the table. Thumping an object in the middle of the blue print before turning. He walked past Rey, the look he gave, she fell into step behind him. Phasma stepped out of the wall next to the door, Kylo paused, looking Phasma in the face with a harsh look of some kind. He continued on his way, Rey passed by Phasma, looking into her helmet all she saw was a distorted reflection of herself.

Clenching her jaw she set out of the office, as the door slid shut with a heavy thump. She followed behind Kylo's long strides as they went somewhere deep into the ship. The clean white hallways turned into twisting and turning narrow hallways, the white turning into grey and brown. Looking like an old empire ship was the heart of this ship, that had just built around it. Rey couldn't stop her wandering eyes as she looked down every off shooting hallway. Each one curving away, dead ending, or opening up into large bubble shaped rooms. Rey marveled at how could this possibly be the same ship she'd been living on for the last several weeks, she was so engrossed with the place they were going through she didn't see him stopping. Rey slammed into his back, she fell to the ground as he twisted to look around at her. Confusion written on his face.

"I was distracted." was all she said, he glanced around their location, nodding, seeming to remembered her disdain for the rigid first order ships. He offered his hand to her, his thick gloved hand reflected the dim light in the twisting tunnels they were in. Rey gripped his hand tightly, pulling herself up with his weight as a counter weight. Wiping off the dirt clinging to her clothes, she turned around in her spot, taking in all the old pipes coming out of the walls, going back into them, the floor being grates, the pipes below them knocked with pressure. Kylo watching her rotation, the joy filled glint in her eyes as she took in the old heart of the ship. A large smile spreading across her face. The scavenger heart of hers bursting with excitement.

"There are no cameras starting at this point. No first order overstep or observation. You can be-" he gestured up and down at Rey. "-you here." he unhooked his lightsaber from his belt, the red beam igniting. Casting bright red light onto his face, the shadows of his scar showing harshly. Rey stared into his face without fear, she realized she trusted him, he had just given her a gift and if he decided to cut her down here. She'd take it in stride. Rey knelt, closing her eyes and pointing her head down towards the ground. The lightsaber beam buzzing loudly in the narrow corridor. He stepped around her, she opened her eyes but kept her head down, watching his heavy boots move past her. The lightsaber cut a deep black line into the ground behind her. The metal dripping white hot into the void below her. Watching as it hit pipes, going past and disappearing into nothing.

The grated floor didn't even shift from the cut, the metal cooled, the white fading to a dull humming red as he flipped the switch on the lightsaber. The light getting sucked out of the space, leaving them in the dark, the red glow his lightsaber had casted for only a few moments left the hallway feeling hollow without its presence. Her eyes hadn't readjusted yet to the dim light in the hallway. Kylo circled her, his movements almost predatory. The hair on Rey's neck stood up, her eyes following his boots as best they could. He stopped in front of her, his voice was heavy when he finally spoke.

"Swear it." his voice rough. Rey swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. "Swear to me. Not to Snoke. Not to the First Order. Swear it to me." a hint of desperation was in his voice, he needed her words, needed to hear her say it. The memories she had seen of his abandonments and betrayals flashing through her mind. The years he spent trying to be his own person in the shadow of so many people hanging heavy in her mind. To be someone of his own, instead of who everyone else thought he should be, who his family wouldn't push off on each other, or leave behind.

The memories of Han leaving Ben off alone for months, the memories of Leia not having time for him, pushing him off onto other people to pay attention. Them shipping him off to get jedi training he didn't want under Luke. Who put so much pressure on him during his training he could feel himself crumbling. All young Ben had wanted to be was his own person. The expectations of others pushed him to create Kylo. now he was his own person. Just not the person they thought he should of been.

"I swear myself to you." her words echoing down the silence of the hall, her words heavy on her lips. The tenison in the air was pressing into her back, or was it the force? A pressure was settling into the hallway, they're breathing heavy. Her senses prickled, a charged energy in the air, Rey could taste it on her tongue. It tasted of limes and cold metal.

"Rise." if words could drip, his were honey, slow and heavy flow. Rey looked up into his face, his stare burning into her skin. He clenched and unclenched his gloved hands, his throat bobbing as he swallowed heavily. Rey pushed herself to her feet, standing in front of him, meeting his eyes. She squared her shoulders, holding her head up higher; kylo walked closer, inches from her. He pulled his glove off, the pinching and pulling of the each finger of the glove, marked time moving by slowly. The pressure in the air around them becoming almost unbearably heavy. Rey tried not to shift on her feet, all her discomfort was pulled from her mind as he slid his gloveless fingers through her hair. His skin burned against her skin as his hand drifted through her hair to the back of her neck. His fingers lightly digging into the flesh, like he wasn't sure she was real.

He pulled on her skin tightly, drawing their faces just breaths apart. Her found herself getting ready for a sharp burning kiss. The buzzing through the air making her heart beat faster, the blood rushing to her fingers and her toes. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he dug his nails into the back of her neck, the skin breaking with a soft pop as they breathed in each other's space. Rey felt her nails digging into the palms of her hands as she waited for him to bridge the small gap between their lips. She licked her lips, breaking whatever trance he was in, he closed the distance between their lips with a crushing kiss. His other hand grabbing onto her waist tightly, the grip almost painful. Rey's breathing hitched in her throat as she kissed him back, the tenderness of their other kiss was a stark contrast to this one. It burned and pulled at the edges of her being, she put her hand on the side of his neck

Her own nails digging into the soft skin on his throat. Whether he seemed to like it or not only fueled his harsh kiss. Pulling away just enough to slam against her mouth again. Kylo bit her lip just harsh enough for a gasp to come from Rey. Her lips separated and he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She relished his taste as his tongue roamed around her mouth. His taste reminded her of the way air tasted on the island just before a rainstorm. Heavy with a hint of cider trees blowing in the wind. Turning their bodies and shoving her against the wall of the hallway, his hand slid down her side, reaching her hip and squeezing. Her own hand not digging into his neck slipped around his waist, pulling his body against hers. After a moment his hand on the back of her neck loosened it's digging grip, wrapping around the front of it and squeezing from the sides. Rey moaned against his mouth and spurred him to squeeze tighter. Her heartbeat fluctuating as he kissed her deeply, he pulled his tongue from her mouth. Rey nipped at his lip, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. He kissed a soft trail of kisses from the corner of her mouth to her ear. His teeth clamping onto her earlobe before he softly kissed that as well. His grip on her throat had her panting, not from lack of air but from the excitement. Kylo could feel her pulse fluttering under his fingers as he pressed a kiss to her temple, before pulling himself away from her and releasing the grip on her throat.

His hand dropping from her skin left a cold empty feeling, she opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing when he put both hands on either side of her face. The roughness and heat of his fingers made her breath catch in her throat. His hands slid down her face, going over her shoulders and ending at her hands. Where his hands dwarfed hers, hers looking so small in his. Reys stare so intently at their joined hands, she almost missed the part where he lowered himself to his knees.

Sitting on both knees he stared up into her face, the shock written all over her expression. Despite the dimness in the hallway, she could see the glisten in his eyes as he stared up at her. Kylo held onto her hands, squeezing them as he stared up into her face; his breathing heavy in the space between them. The dim light was reflecting off his hair, the shadows deep on his face, to Rey, there was nothing in the galaxy as beautiful.

"I swear. I swear to protect you, from anything; from evil things that thirst for your blood. I swear to you, so you'll never feel loneliness again." Rey swallowed, the words echoing through the hallway, the space feeling tight and heavy with a swollen weight in the air. He turned her hands over, pressing a kiss into the palm of each hand. Rey's chest burned, her swearing feeling suddenly much less personal, feeling less devotion than his seemed. She licked her lips, her bottom lip trembling, this kind of promise wasn't made lightly. They'd gravitate towards each other for the rest of their lives. Their paths forever crossed; but maybe they already were. This promise just meant they'd never be on opposite sides again.

Rey tugged on his hands, pulling him to his feet, he towered over her at his full height. Kylo bent his head towards hers, his hair falling in loose curls around his face. The longer pieces tickling Rey's face softly. She had to resist the urge to run her hands through his hair, to feel the soft dark curls under her fingers. The emotion on his face was raw, it showed hurt, vulnerability, and the smallest traces of hope. Hope that whatever they face she'll stay by his side. They didn't speak, or move, they stood like that for what felt like hours. Maybe it was, they just stood hand in hand as they stared at into each other's eyes.

()

The days spent together were like white and black. During their time in the hallways deep in the belly of the ship, it was as if the Kylo Ren in front of her was a different person. He was still full of rage, she could feel it in the air. But he seemed more free. He made snide comments. He had a sense of humor she hadn't seen before. It was all darkness and self loathing she expected with a hint of self importance. He liked to lounge around like a house cat as she explored the pipe jungle layed out for her. Rey would spend her time climbing, poking her head into holes. Just figuring out how the ship worked with such an old design. All the while, Kylo loved to watch her. He'd sit at the platform as she slowly climbed down, her shouts barely reaching his ears. What she would find.

One of the things being a blaster 4 generations old. Rey climbed up, dropping the blaster next to him where his feet dangled off the edge of a platform. The blaster was rusted, an old outdated design that would lock up accidentally. Kylo picked it up with his hand, turning it over before quickly posing it in firing position. He squeezed the trigger. Rey's face excited with anticipation, but all that came out of the blaster was a wheeze of rust. Rey's face dropped in disappointment.

They also had some training fights in these old rooms, one being so deep into the ship Rey's nightmares as a child flashed through her mind. The thought of dying and no one finding her often at the forefront of her mind. Kylo hadn't seemed to mind the dimly lit areas of the ship's belly. He'd drag his hands on the hallways walls as they walked. Rey would watch him as he silently navigated the twisting hallways. His natural sense of direction pulling them to places they hadn't been before. She could see his-self reflection, it was almost physical in the air. Whatever his thoughts were on, he needed silence to process them. Despite the silence Rey didn't feel lonely anymore. He had exposed his emotional thoughts to her while in the belly, and while she didn't know exactly what plagued him she hoped her presence helped. When he'd finally stop the random walking in his deepest thoughts, he'd coax Rey into speaking of her childhood. Not through the memories he had lived, but of her good ones. The ones she didn't mind speaking about. She reflected on the way the sun would shine through the holes in her AT-AT home, creating stars only for her.

Whatever they were to each other she felt like the bond was strongest while they haunted these old halls. His tall stalking form would relax the moment that crossed the threshold of they're hidden space.

One of the days Rey sat on a makeshift bench she had built from scrap metal laying around. She had welded it into the wall with some minor equipment she had borrowed from the repair bay. No one had stopped her, no one had cared that she lifted the small current generator. Kylo was pacing in front of her, his breaths coming out in heavy bursts as he made his laps. The stomping of his boots echoing around the large bubble shaped room. Whatever had happened his rage is ticking up the notches as he paced, instead of going down. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Rey chewed on her lip as he flung his arms out, pulling them back in and throwing them forward. He wasn't force pushing, but he was trying desperately to work off some of his extra fury. Rey could hear his grumbling under his breath, she'd been working up the courage to ask him what was the matter. Not wanting to overstep her boundary. She was just his student, she had no land to stand on as she asked for details. Swallowing, she asked anyway.

"What's the matter?" Her voice cutting through the sharp sound coming from his helmet. He froze, quickly turning his head to stare through her being. She resisted the urge to shiver.

"I've been commanded by Snoke." He said, he started his pacing again. Rey didn't understand, he was his master, she knew of several of his other commands that she had heard from Kylo himself. Much less angry all those times than this one.

"To do what?" His pacing took him straight to the wall, where he pressed his gloves hands against it.

"To blood you. I should have no issue ordering it. I've seen you kill, I've seen you murder. Why do I have reservations to command you to do it this time?" He turned on around quickly, his movements going from nothing, from being statue still to fluid speed. He stalked over to Rey where she sat on the bench. Her concern written on her face. He took his helmet off and threw it to the far side of the room. Where it hit with a loud echoing thunk. His breathing heavy and jagged.

"I've murdered?" Her voice coming out quiet. Her memory filing through all the times she's attacked someone. As far as she knew the stormtroopers were just knocked out. That's what the specs she had read from the old empire file had told her. Stormtrooper armor was special designed to take the brunt of a blaster and not kill the target. Hurt. But not kill.

Kylos head hung forward, his sweat damp curls hanging heavily around his face. His hands reached out and grabbed her shoulders. Bringing his eyes up to hers she could see a glint of rage in his eyes, a smirk across his lips.

"Of course you've murdered. Don't forget what I told you on the island. Thousands have died by your hands. Your stained with blood." His voice was soft but rough, a touch more of a gravelly voice than he normally possessed. Rey felt her mind quiet as she remembered their conversation, the memory of starkiller base exploding. How many had been on that base? It was the size of a planet. Prehands a hundred thousand men could of been on that planet. Rage burned at the back of her throat as she scared into his face, pure red rage burst at her chest.

She shoved at his chest with her hands, darting to her feet. A yell coming out of her mouth as she shoved him again.

"Killing in defense isn't murder." The words coming out through her clenched teeth. A chuckle came out of Kylos mouth, she shoved him again.

"Killing is killing; murder is murder; death is death." the words coming out as a half sing song tone. Another yell came out of Rey as she shoved him backwards with the force. It came out of her hands as she flung them towards him, his feet sliding across the floor as he slammed into the wall opposite of her. The air was knocked out of his lungs but another chuckle came with it. Another dark chuckle that made her blood boil, she set her mouth with a sharp frown and lunged towards him. Kylo dipped his head to the side as her fist slammed into the wall. The sound of her flesh slamming against it made a sharp slapping noise. Her knuckles stung as she pulled her other hand to punch at his head. He dodged that one just as easily. Slipping out of her range as she swung with her weight behind her. He didn't fight back yet. Just letting Rey take her swings at him. Her breath coming out in pants as she began to tire.

"Just admit it Rey. You have more blood on your hands than I do." Kylo said with a shrug, his form standing in the middle of the room. Rey was panting, her hands on her knees. Rage flashed across her face as she jumped towards him, this punch landing with a wet smacking noise. His head was turned away from her but she could feel his rage flowing before she saw it. He grabbed her arm flinging it away from them, his head swinging towards her quickly. His punch coming right after it. Rey took a full punch with his weight behind it right to the cheek. She lost her balance and twisted to the ground. Landing first on her side before rolling on to her back. Kylo was on her a moment after. His weight on her hips as he shoved his one knee into her hip. Rage in his eyes that made her blood hum. His other fist came across her face, strong enough to whip her head to the side. Rey tasted blood in her mouth.

Kylo planted his hands on either side of her head as she brought it back to look into his eyes. He wasn't panting from effort but from the energy bubbling in his blood.

"Admit it." His words were ice, a splash of cold water to the heat burning within her. She opened her mouth, to protest, but it was useless. She knew the truth. She had murdered people. Snuffed their light out before their time. She should of felt bad, she almost did, but when she stared into the eyes of the man on top of her, she couldn't. They're lives had no importance to her, they never would.

"You're right." her words coming out soft whisper. A pipe in the corner hummed as steam passed through it. All Rey could think about was the closeness of his body above hers. The weight of his body digging harshly into her skin. His eyes widened for just a moment before his lips slammed onto hers. His knee shifted from digging into her hip to straddling her, she arched herself into the kiss. Rey's hands sliding up his back and around his waist as she felt for the buckle to his large outer belt. His lips hesitated for just a moment when the belt released with a click. It released into her hand and she flung it to the side, where it clattered to the floor. She harshly bit his lip, drawing his attention back to their kiss.

His hands that had been on the either side of her face moved down her body, not so gently grabbing the hem of her shirt before yanking it upwards. Breaking their kiss just long enough to pull off the piece of fabric and tossing it to the side. Kylo leaned back just for a moment, taking in the softness of her skin. The freckles that spread across her shoulders and down the top of her breasts before disappearing into the top of her undershirt. His eyes dragged back up her body to her face, she was panting as her fingers got to work finding the zipper of his gambisen.

At the top of his chest, slowly pulling it down. She licked her lips and never broke eye contact as she pushed the thick fabric off his shoulders, where it landed on the floor with a soft thump. He was wearing his long sleeved undershirt, Rey began tugging at the bottom of it before giving up. The sheet was much too form fitting for her to take off easily herself. Rey lowered her hands and watched as Kylo pulled the form fitting shirt off himself. Rey watched with hungry eyes as she took in his muscles coiled tightly beneath his skin. The scar that spread across his face and down his neck plunged deeply down his chest, ending just above his abs. Rey's hand gilded down the scar, following the progression as he almost trembled under her hand.

Kylo swallowed heavily as she sat up, pulling her undershirt off before tossing it away from them. Rey watched as his eyes flickered all over her chest, she laid back down as he started to reach for one of her breasts. Realizing he was still wearing his gloves he grabbed the first three fingertips with his teeth before yanking it off. The smallest hint of a smile spread across Rey's face as that was the first time she'd seen such lack of care for his gloves. His newly freed hand grasped her breast tightly as he yanked the other glove off with his teeth as well. His fingers pinching the nipple before kneading at the rest of it. Rey practically purred as his other hand gripped onto her rib cage as he lowered his head to nip at the exposed skin on her chest.

Getting a mouthful of skin right below her collarbone, he bit into it. Rey let out a small gasp, almost a chirp of delight as his biting traveled down her torso. Leaving behind all kinds of red marks, some with distinct teeth marks, others with soft pink coloring. His one hand still teasing her breast as his teeth gently clamped onto her other nipple. A sharp inhale coming from Rey as she wiggled under him. His tongue flicking across it before he continued his biting downwards. His hand drifted down to grip onto the other side of her ribs cage, mirroring the other already there as he bit into the soft flesh above her hip. A much louder moan coming out of her lips made his blood pump harder. Her hands fell into his hair, twisting the curls around her fingers before grabbing a large handful and harshly pulling his head back up to hers.

As she yanked his head against her, kissing him with a force he wasn't prepared for. The grip on his hair released and her fingers fumbled with the clasp on his pants. Mirroring her action he pulled on the top of her pants, breaking the kiss long enough for the clothing to slide down her legs. She kicked them to the side, he was watching intently as she wiggled herself out of her underwear, pulling his own pants off at the bottom of his ankles. Having sat backwards to pull her pants off and his.

Kylo sat up on his knees, taking in her fully naked form. All the small freckles speckling her chest to her hips to her muscled thighs. He drank it all in, under his eyes, she squirmed. Her hands tugging at the top hem of his underwear, wordlessly telling him to take them off. She had already felt his excitement bulging in his underwear, she wanted to see it, see all of him as he sees her.

He started pulling it down, as Rey half sat up and watched his member sprang forward with a half pleased half lazy look. Kylo felt what seemed like a blush spread across his face as her eyes wandered his entire body in the dim light.

He turned his face away in embarrassment as she slid onto her knees. Her eyes catching on the black lines that followed the line of his rib cage, creating a striped caged look around his upper body. In the dimness of the light she had missed it when he first took his shirt off. She was too distracted by the scar she had given him in the forest. Her hand traced the 3 on either sides of his body, her nails softly scraping his skin.

Nowhere near as tall as him, she held his face in her hand as she kissed him, softly and gently for the first time that day as one hand slipped around him. He shuddered at the coolness of her fingers wrapped around him, pulling his face down with her as she moved to lay back down. She wasn't embarrassed at their nakedness, why should he? His breath hitched as he hovered over her, her fingers still softly wrapped around his currently most sensitive body part, her nail gently tracing a vein she's found. The blood humming under her hands as she kissed him deeper. Gently biting his bottom lip, a soft groan coming out of his lips as she guided him into her, all the rushed fire he had moments ago fizzled out as he just relished in her touch. The urgency was gone and he just wanted to marvel in the physical connection they were having.

If it wasn't so silent in the room they were in besides they're heavy breathing she wouldn't have heard the uptick under his breath as he slid into her wet center. The softest moan coming out of his mouth as he shoved his lips against hers. Rey's own breathing hitched, catching in the back of her throat and he pressed all the way into her. A heavy moan coming from deep within her as he took a moment inside of her, to settle himself. Kylo gripped her hip tightly, the bone jabbing into his hand.

Rey was the first one to move against him, encouraging him to pull back and go forward again with each little tiny squeaked out moan she gave him. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling his face close into her shoulder as he moved in and out of her, picking up speed before cycling; between faster and slower speeds. Rey hummed underneath him as she met him thrust for thrust with enthusiasm. His nails dug into the skin on her hips, he slowed enough to flip them over.

Flipping onto his back where she saddled him, she was sitting up straighter. The sudden change disorienting her for just a moment before she started to bounce on top of him. Lifting herself enough for his thrusts to hit deeper when she went down to meet them. The nails on her one hand dug in deeply into the skin on his chest as her other hand rubbed a circular pattern at a small bud of nerves at the top of her womanhood. The moans coming out of her breather and louder until she almost couldn't take it anymore. His nails digging into her hips broke the skin, bruises were forming at the new urgency of his grip.

Rey moan came out as a shuddered gasp as she reached her climax, she removed her hand and pressed both of them into his chest as he continued thrusting up and down. Rey leaned forward to kiss him, her teeth biting into his bottom lip; the movement of her body shifting seemed to send him spiraling as he reached his own climax, his heavy panting filling the silence of the room.

The dampness of his skin making his hair stick to his face, just as Rey's hair was sticking to her face and neck. They stayed together for a moment, him still buried deep inside her after they both finished. Rey was the first one to move, sliding herself up and off of him. A large shudder passed through him as she did, her body thumped with a damp slap on the metal floor as she practically threw herself next to him. Too tired to do much more than that. Kylo pulled her body against side of his, pressing a breathless kiss to the top of her head as he held her. Pulling the closest item of clothing he could find to them, his large sleeveless padded gambeson, pulling it up and over her shoulders. Rey was chilled laying against the cold metal with the dampness of exertion clinging to her skin.

As they laid there his hand petting her hair and the occasional kiss to the top of her head they laid in silence. Neither wanting to ruin the moment with talk of returning to their second life in the white halls of the ship. The life that was beginning to feel more and more like the dream the longer they hid in the depths of the star destroyer. They had two lives they were living, and while the one where they could hide away from their responsibility was the real dream. Despite white halled reality feeling more like a nightmare, they'd have to return to it soon. Rey dragged her fingernail lightly up and down the scar on his chest to his neck. Not sure where they'd sit with each other when not inside the coiling halls, Rey shoved the thought out of her mind. The only thing of importance currently was his soft breathing.

()

The next days passed without a blink, Rey was still waiting for Kylo to bring her the new uniform she was to be wearing for her new job under Phasma. Their morning practices were the highlight to her days. She was starting to hold her own against Kylo, she still was taking a beating, her blood would start pumping with excitement. One morning on specific, Rey had ran around Kylo, slipping under his defenses and taking her training sword straight into his thigh, the hit was so hard a small cry escaped his lips. His own training sword dropping out of his hand at the contact. Rey twirled around on her toes from her lower position in front of him, going for his waist with the sword. Kylo saw it coming, despite the pain still radiating through his leg, he grabbed Rey with his large gloved hands. Twisting the sword out of her hand with the grip he held on her wrist. The pain shooting up her arm as his other hand picked her up. Her whole body weight meaning nothing to him as he tossed her off to the side. Rey slammed into the floor on her shoulder with a heavy thump.

A pained shout coming out of her mouth as she slid across the white paneled floor. Kylo dropped to his knee, his weight on his good leg as he calmed his breathing. Rey's own pain making her shudder as she struggled to get off the ground. Tears blurring her vision as she was trying to push up off the floor. Her breathing coming out in large heavy gasps, the pain flashing through her whole body as she put all her weight on her bad arm to push her upper body up into a sitting position. Kylo was standing again, quickly moving over to where she was struggling to get up. She watched as he slide down onto his knees, sliding behind her as he took her weight so she wasn't putting it all on her injury.

She could hear his curse under his breath; he looked at her shoulder. His fingers gently brushing her skin, she flinched so harshly he quickly withdrew his hand. Another curse coming out from his clenched teeth. Rey couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm alright, i just gotta relax for a moment.' her words coming out in soft wheezes as she continued to laugh, he seemed so put out by her reaction, she couldn't help herself.

"We always beat each other up." she said, he tensed behind her.

"I always beat you up. You hardly land too many hits." she couldn't help but scoff at him. He gently chuckled behind her, the sound coming through her body as well as hearing it.

"Once i'm good, we're gonna go again." Rey said, defiance flaring up at his reaction.

"Oh okay, sure. Yeah i'll totally let you fight again. Once you're up and walking, you're going straight to med bay. That's an order." Rey huffed but obeyed, she wasn't about to start an argument, she actually liked going to the med bay because growing up on that desert planet desperately poor. She could never afford the kind of treatment official med bays gave. Healing time was nothing, pain was minimal, life was good with med bots. His fingers were gently tracing the line of her shoulder when the pain finally ebbed enough for her to struggle to her feet. Kylo giving support as she tried to rise.

Once they were standing she leaned her good side against his side, not really needing that much support to walk beside maybe a hand on her back, she just really wanted to be closer to him. Nursing a shoulder injury and potentially a broken rib meant she could lean as close as she wanted. They're time together in the white halls had to be more separated, after that first scene of them on camera they kept their distance. Rey slumped heavily against him, he wrapped his arm around the back of her as he limped them towards the medbay. The hit to his thigh must of been a good one for him to still be having issues with it. Stormtroopers stood at attention as they slowly wandered past, they blank helmeted stares following their steps. Rey turned to whisper to Kylo, tilted her head enough to look like they were just walking.

"Something is wrong." her voice tense, all he responded with was a shift nod, their senses prickling with danger. His free hand hung loosely next to where his lightsaber was clipped into his belt, Rey had yet to earn her own lightsaber in Snokes eyes. Her soul still too heavily connected to the lightside. A white string connecting to all the lives of people she's connected with while her time with the resistance. She felt that tug as they passed through the door to the medbay. A doctor stood next to a med bot who was stitching together a mess up a stormtrooper. His greenish torso was exposed as the medbot stitched together the gaping skin on his side. A blaster shot cut through his armor, almost disemboweling him in the process. Her stomach turned at the sight of the blue blood leaking out of his body, his feet still had his stormtrooper boots on. She focused on that to keep from throwing up the little training breakfast she ate.

The hair on the back of her neck was standing on end when the doctor pulled the curtain separating the stormtrooper from her and Kylo. The doctor turning around and facing them had an easy smile on his face, he was aged and had wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. The smile lines deepening the wider he smiled, Kylo sat down heavily on the cot behind him as he rubbed at the place Rey's attack had hit, he pulled his hand away. It was stained red, confusion furrowed his brow as he looked quickly to Rey's face. Her face had surprise written across it, they were using dulled training swords, they shouldn't have cut through his skin if he wasn't even wearing pants. Let alone through his thick padded clothing. The doctor pointed at the other cot on the other side of Kylo for Rey to sit on, she struggled to hop onto the cot while the doctor half pulled the curtain between her and Kylo. Rey didn't want to lose vision of him with the weird feeling she had, something wasn't right and her senses were screaming at her to realize what was going on. Leaning to the side to peer around the half pulled curtain she could hear the doctor's soft voice.

"I'll need you to remove this clothing item so i can see the injury." she could hear Kylo's boots dropping to the floor with a heavy thump. Then his body sliding off the exam table bed, his feet lightly padding on the tile floor as he pulled up his pants. She could hear him grumbling about how he shouldn't even be bleeding, that Rey had only his him with a dull training blade. The doctors soft floating around the curtain, his voice serious and soft.

"That's because it wasn't a dull training blade." her heart skipped, blood pumping through her ears. All her instincts were yelling to jump into action, but she could hardly so much slide off the table as she turned around the edge of the curtain. Kylo was laying on the table with a thin blanket sitting on his lap, the large wound on his thigh a screaming red. Her eyes tore off the wound and up to where the doctor stood, he had a needle in his hand that was empty, he was just pulling it out of Kylo's thigh, he struggled to stay awake. Rey's blood was pumping, she should get running, but she stood still, she couldn't just leave him with the doctor. Whoever this man was she wasn't sure what he wanted from them. A set of heavy hands landed on her shoulders, the doctor slowly turned around as he saw her.

That light smile still plastered almost robotically on his face, Rey struggled to pull herself out of the grip of the large man behind her; but her attempts were useless, every movement making her shoulder scream, she stood helplessly still as the doctor pulled out another needle. He walked up to her slowly, checking the level of the needle before inserting it into her neck, and pushing the plunger down. Rey's vision edged with darkness as she swayed on her feet, the effort to keep her eyes open was too much. Her eyes closed and she fell heavily against the man, darkness over taking her mind and her body becoming unresponsive.

()

Opening her eyes reminded her the way her eyes felt after a dust storm, her eyes sticker and dry, for a moment she wondered if she'd been dropped back off on a desert planet to waste away. A sob caught in her throat at the thought, despite everything she had done in the beginning to get back home to wait for her family. She knew they were never coming back. If they were even still alive she would never have seen them on that planet again, for all she knew they could of been one of the skeletons stuck inside decaying ships. Rotting inside the machines they harvested. She was bound, laying sideways on the ground, her whole body stiff, her shoulder screaming, her rib reminding her of the fact all of her body weight had come slamming down on it. Pulling at the rope behind her that held her hands together, pain shot through her, her head spinning. Whatever ship they were on, she felt like they were swaying, she filed through all her knowledge of ships that swayed through space travel. But came up empty handed, her head pounding so hard she slipped back into the darkness that crept along her legs.

()

The next time she awoke, her hands were still bound behind her, but she was no longer laying across the ground like a sack of potatoes. She was no propped up in a hard chair, the back digging into her arms that were forced behind the chair. Despite the fog in her mind she noticed that where ever she was, and whoever had her wasn't the First Order turning on her and Kylo. The First Order wouldn't use rough rope when they had fancy wrist clamps that had an adjustable bar between them. Whoever had her used a less advanced way of keeping captives. The ship was no longer swaying, she pulled her head up as straight as she could, the only thing she could see around her crusted eyes was a single bright light shining down on her from the ceiling. The room surrounding her full of blackness.

Rey jerked up quickly, her eyes wide as she searched the room for Kylo, she could no longer feel him, the sensation she felt whenever he was near was gone. His presence had buzzed around her like mild electricity, now where there had been a constant, was silence. Her chest squeezed in panic as she swallowed her fear. Blinking heavily to clear her eyes since she was unable to rub them; the room came more into focus, there was a door behind her, the light coming from the crack under it spread out long. Its white light clashing with the yellow light of the light above her. There was only a blank wall, places where the plaster had been blasted away from blaster shots showed an old brick underneath it. It showed age with white and black splotches of what seemed to be old dried out blood.

Noting that wherever they were had little bug activity for the blood to not be smeared from bugs eating the nutrients. Rey didn't know much about planets, but she knew enough to know that a old dry environment, that was even so dry bugs suffered, wasn't a place she wanted to be. It would limit her escape options. Large hot flat desert's made for difficult escapes, not enough cover if caught escaping, not enough things to survive off of after the escape. Her mind quieted when a door down the hall from her opened, the sound of boots crunching on the floor outside of her room told her that there was a long narrow hallway, hers was at the end based off the echoing pattern. When the boots reached her door they stopped, the sound of this sliding as they did an official military style turn pricked at her ears.

The door unlocked, the sound of a heavy lock thunking inside itself as it opened, she tugged on the ropes for just a moment. There was no slack and they cut into her wrists. Sitting up as straight as she could, sure there was blood and dirt all over her skin she'd show no fear. Put on a show that'd make Kylo Ren proud, she'd strike fear into the hearts of whoever held her. Rey set her jaw, and narrowed her eyes, she let her head hang down enough that her eyes were hidden in a shadow casted by the overhanging light.

The door opened with a heavy creak of the hinges, the sound of metal scraping making a shiver go across her body. The heavy boots rounded her, and she could see the military boots with pants tucked into them. A dark brown color she wasn't sure who was associated with it, it wasn't the rebellion orange. If they hadn't gotten their message why would they kidnap her in such a way, thinking she was a traitor they wouldn't of bothered to come get her, if they thought she was kidnapped herself they wouldn't have left her tied to this chair.

Her blood was humming with energy as the figure stood tall in front of her, they cleared their throat and she brought her eyes up to theirs. Her rage beating around the air like a living heart, the pressure on her skin as it caressed her arms. If the figure noticed a change in the air he didn't react to it as her eyes connected with his. A jolt went through her limbs as she looked into them, she borrowed her way through his mind. His childhood on poverty flashed before her eyes, his hunger as he dug through dumpsters. When the First Order came through he was already a teenager, he watched with jealousy as all the other young orphans were swept away with the promise of food and a bed. The street empted and she ripped her way through his mind, all that was left was himself, too young to join what had been the republic's galaxy wide military program. Too old to be secretly taken away by the first order. The memory changed as he stole from the wrong pirate, he had taken his hand and had taken him as a private in his crew. For the first time this man had a family.

His mind had no resistance as she yanked memories from their locations, shoving aside his life story for the location she currently was, for what had happened to Kylo Ren. his mind flashed to a message, a retrieval order, alive, for the traitor to the resistance of the republic. The poster hovered in his mind as she cradled the poster, her likeness with an easy smile, her hair pulled back into several hairstyles on the poster to show her. One with her three buns, one with no buns, one with a braid, whatever style she might have changed her hair to it was listed. The poster was signed and ordered by The General. No name attached to it.

She could feel her mouth go dry as a voice whispered in her mind. _They are hunting you like an animal… You must hunt them first…_

Her breathing was starting to come out heavily, as the man was still frozen in her gaze, the invisible hands of the force shredding the memory of the poster as if it really sat in her hands. His breathing hitched as she commanded him to untie her, she felt either blood or sweat dripping down the skin on her cheek as she watched him slowly drag his feet to her back. The sound of a knife sawing through the ropes the only sound besides their panting breathing.

When the sawing was done, the knife clattered to the ground, she discarded his mind as she rubbed at the rope burns on her wrists. His body dropping to the ground with a wet sound. No where on the poster had it said she was dangerous. That was their mistake. Rey didn't know what kind of damage she had done to his mind, in the moment she didn't care as she breathed with rage. Pushing up from the chair she stumbled, slamming into the wall in front of her, pushing against it with her good arm. The one she had injured hung limply next to her body, whatever damage it had only made worse from being dumped and dragged around.

Dragging her feet she made her way to the door, still unlocked, she paused a moment just before the door. Should she search him, take the knife he dropped, and steal the keys? Maybe even lock him in here so he can't alert someone? Slowly pulling her body towards where his unconscious body laid, Rey dropped to her knees, pushing her over onto his side so she could look for his keys better. Her breath caught in her throat, his mouth, nose, eyes and ears had blood dripping out of them. Swallowing the bile that rose in the back of her throat she kept searching him, had she done that in her rage?

Her hand wrapping around the keys he carried brought her out of her thoughts, she needed to get out of here, she could mourn the person she had once been afterwards. The key ring was large enough to slip around her thin wrist, leaving her hand free to pick up the knife he had dropped on the floor. Rey swept down, picking up the knife, and pushed the door open when she reached it. It creaked heavily on its hinges, the sound echoing through her bones. Peeking her head around the corner she saw the long narrow hallway she had mapped in her head as he had walked towards the door. The hallway was a packed dirt, and at the far end of the hallway she saw the main door.

The sound of her shuffling feet was the only noise she heard besides the light moaning coming from a cell farther down the hall. She peeked into the window of the door, hoping that maybe Kylo was here with her after all, but all she saw was a broken man she didn't recognize. Continuing on her way to the door, she took a heavy gulp just before shoving it open. The knife in her hand ready to stab anyone who came to grab her, the light from the outside blinding her. Trying to blink away the brightness, her breath caught in her throat as the courtyard came into focus. Faces all staring at her intently as she stood in the doorway, her arm hanging limply on the side as her other wore a bracelet of keys, a knife poised in her hand. Blood dripped down her face from a cut on her forehead, mixing with the sweat of the effort to move down the hallway, the watery drip of thinned blood hitting the courtyards stone floor. The sounding echoing in the silence of everyone staring at her.

"Rey!" a voice gasped out. Her head swung to the location of the sound. Rage flooded through her bones.

(okay so i had to end it there because it was getting too long as it was and i wanted to end it on a cliff hanger. I'd really appreciate a review or something letting me know what you thought of this chapter. I've never written smut before so im insanely embarrassed of myself as it is, so i hope it was acceptable./ haha back in my day we called them lemons./ but no for real, i;ve never written one before and i'm hella awkward. I've been working on this chapter for what feels like forever when it's really been like a week. Thanks every )


End file.
